Touch
by ish.the.abstract
Summary: There is no barrier for the physical world and she can't keep him out of her life any longer. sasusaku minor shikaino
1. Prologue: Brush

Touch

Summary:  There is no barrier for the physical world and she can't keep him out of her life any longer. sasusaku

AN: Ok, so this is experimental. (I know what you're thinking: go update your other stories first!) I'm erratic like this. I've written a few chapters and see how it goes. I may or may not continue depending on the response.

It starts out gloomy but I think it'll only last for the first few chapters.

Inspirations include: Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe, a dream, Persephone, and Don't Cry Out by the amazing rawful butter aka Katie Louise

* * *

Prologue: Brush

_I watch you from afar_

_Always from afar_

_Conspicuous yet subtle_

_And all too fragile_

_Always looking, never touching_

_Always looking, never touching_

_--_

Her hair is pink. And everybody notices.

She is beautiful and graceful and lonely. And he sees her as she walks through the halls, as she passes him by the street, as she saunters with her head down, pink locks cascading over her face.

"Teme," a blonde friend's voice cuts through the silence, "what are you looking at?"

Raven hair sways as the boy with the onyx gaze turns his head in recognition. "Nothing."

The blonde one sighs and plays with his food. "It's her again, isn't it?"

He doesn't reply; a vague side glance is the only thing that says that he's guilty. "Give it up, Sasuke. It's pointless, " another boy with an air of idleness speaks, arms extending over the table as he stretches in place.

"You think so." It is not a question, merely a statement. He sits still. "You…think so."

Blue eyes meet brown and they share a look.

CRASH.

All eyes look to a man, apologizing to a pale girl on the floor, asking if he can help her. She shakes her head. _No. _He looks concerned so he reaches for her shoulder, meaning to hoist her up.

All eyes turn from the hustle bustle of lunch break to an interesting scene.

At the contact, she winces, as if in pain. Tears run to the corners of her eyes and she looks at the man, pleading, refusing. He releases her and looks confused.

She shakes her head once again, and then she slowly stands up as she gathers her things. As she faces him once again, she bows in gratitude, but her eyes remain dark.

Sasuke is at the edge of his seat, willing to stand up anytime. But no one else does, no one else will help. Then Naruto placates him and Shikamaru shakes his head. He looks at them in abhorrence but he stays in place.

She walks to a table at the far end of the cafeteria. She sits alone. She is always alone.

Her clothes are the only things around her. They protect her from touch.

Because it burns and it hurts and it makes her want to cry.

One last longing gaze and he turns back to his food.

--

_Her face was not meant to be hidden_

_Her eyes never meant to be blurred_

_Her skin shouldn't have been so pale _

_Her stride was not meant to be slow_

_--_

It is an accident.

He punches his locker in sheer frustration. His defective locker is keeping him from going to class on time. He kicks it, relieving the stress of having to walk in late as he enters class. And then, miraculously, it opens and he reaches for his books and almost crams them into his bag. He shuts it with a bang as he walks fast to his next class. He never runs. He doesn't need to. He will be forgiven.

Because he is Uchiha Sasuke and he is intelligent and handsome. He is everybody's pride. He can kill and little will change.

He walks fast, he walks faster. He reaches for a mint in his pocket as he turns his attention from the hall to his fruitless search.

He is walking too fast. And a feather-light touch grazes his shoulder.

He looks to his left and he sees her as she looks at him wide-eyed and he notices yet again that her eyes are so green and her lips are so pink. She curls her arms closer to her body as she looks away from him and continues walking then she runs.

He stops and looks at her retreating back. He convinces himself that it is real. It is their first contact. Shoulder to shoulder. Eye to eye.

It is vague and soft and fleeting. But it is their first contact.

It is an accident. It is just a brush. But it is still a touch.

--

_I watch you from afar_

_I watch you from close by_

_Conspicuous yet subtle_

_And all too fragile_

_Always looking, with memories of an ephemeral touch_

_A lasting ephemeral touch_

_--_

_AN: reviews are enthusiastically encouraged! thank you for reading and i hope you liked it...  
_


	2. Grope

**AN: ****let me brief you before it confuse the hell out of everybody…odd-numbered chapters are things that happened in the past while even-numbered chapters are things happening in the present**

**So this chapter is a past event, I think as the story moves forward, you'll understand why…reviews will be greatly appreciated!**

**Chapter 1: Grope**

_One must fear beauty_

_It comes with a price_

_It brings the world to its knees_

_But it kills you inside_

_--_

It should have been a perfect family. There was a good mother, there was a reliable father and there were three beautiful daughters.

She was always the most beautiful of all the three. She was the youngest and the most vibrant. Her green irises literally sparkled as she moved. Her hips swayed ever so slightly as she walked. Her voice was like crystal and her laugh was melodic.

It wasn't her fault. She was born that way. She has always been beautiful.

It was not the perfect family but she has always been beautiful.

--

_It is dirty_

_Don't touch me_

_--_

The perfect father had a dark secret. He has a love for things beautiful.

_It hurts_

_It is wrong_

And she was beautiful.

It started with a touch, a kiss, a stroke. She remained mortified as he touched her.

_My daughter, my beautiful daughter._

_**You are not my father.**_

--

_My dear daughter, I love you._

A hand reached to touch her waist.

_**Please don't.**_

_Your sisters are not here. Your mother is not here. Come, my daughter, make me happy._

_**You are not my father.**_

A hand cupped her chin as a mouth captured her lips in a rough urgency. Another hand roamed to her waist, to her back, to her neck. Her lips are detained as lips smash into her soft ones, biting, needing, lusting.

**Please don't.**

Then…release. She thought it was all over but the twinkle in his eyes grew more malicious than before.

_Let me make you a woman, my daughter._

_**Please don't.**_

The clasp of her skirt was suddenly liberated. She was suddenly pushed to the bed. She cowered in fear but he came close and caressed and comforted her. But she still cowered in fear. He twiddled her pink locks and inhaled the soft scent.

_You smell like strawberries_.

He grasped her shoulders and pushed her down to the soft cushions. He looked at her with pure desire as he tore whatever clothing she had in his impatience.

He smiled before he entered as she lay there, helpless. He went inside and she screamed in pain.

_Shh, not so loud. I won't hurt you._

She felt the blood trickle down as he continuously drove in and out- until she is numb, until the pain can't get any worse. She lay there like a lifeless doll as he used her for hours on end.

Finally, he was satisfied and he wiped the tears that unconsciously ran down her face._ Don't cry, you are _

_a woman now my beautiful daughter._

_**You are not my father…and I am 12.**_

_**--**_

_I feel dirty._

_I feel tainted._

_I feel dead inside._

_--_

She was still beautiful but her light has faded. He smiled crookedly at her. She felt her soul shatter.

"Sakura," her mother asked tentatively, "are you alright?"

"I am fine," she answered, trying her best to keep her voice steady, "yes mom, I am fine."

Her sisters rolled their eyes. They were always jealous of her. He smiled and she resisted the urge to throw up.

Her mother stood up, clearly worried, and walked to touch her forehead to check if she was sick. The moment her hand settled on her, she recoiled and winced and brushed her mother's hand away.

"Don't touch me," she snapped. Her mother looked taken aback.

They were never the perfect family.

--

Nobody ever knew. Her mom died in a car accident. He was with her.

She was left in the care of her sisters -her sisters who hated her.

She lived miserably, pityingly, never wanting to be touched, never wanting the feeling of another skin against hers. There were no exceptions. Her fear ate into her, her fear controlled her life.

But she was still beautiful.

After all, she was always the most beautiful of them all.

--

_One must fear beauty_

_It breeds jealousy_

_It breeds contempt_

_It keeps the ugliness you try to hide_

_But it kills you inside_

--

**AN: review? Pretty please? What did you think?**

**Next chapter will be a lot longer+ some sasusaku**


	3. Stroke

**Disclaimer: Naruto is sadly not mine.**

**AN: present events people...and thank you so much for the encouraging responses! please don't forget to review**

* * *

Chapter 2: Stroke

_Your silence is deafening_

_And your pain is enduring_

_You deserve none of it_

_Yet you take it all in_

--

They bully her. They always do.

She cries and cries and clenches her fist. She does not speak. She does not run away. Her eyes widen in fear and pain. But she remains silent.

A girl rips off her sleeve and touches her shoulder and squeezes and pinches. "What's the matter Haruno? Has this phantom sickness of yours kicked in? Are you burning?"

She does not answer and takes the onslaught of slaps meant to hurt her. She is hurt but she still remains silent. Finally, they go away.

"Haruno freak…you are boring."

They walk away laughing and sneering and staring.

She runs home and takes a shower and scrubs until she's red. She scrubs until she bleeds. She scrubs until she's numb.

--

"Sasuke, have you done your Physics homework?"

He looks at his loud friend with a raised brow. "I'm not letting you copy."

"Uhmmm," he laughs nervously, "I'll pay for your lunch for the whole week?"

"Deal," he answers stoically as they line up in the cafeteria. Suddenly, everyone is silent then a multitude of whispers engulf the hall. Sasuke does not care. He does not care about anything and gossip is the last thing he concerns himself with. But as the minutes pass and the whispers continue at an alarming rate, he looks up from his tray to ask Naruto.

The look on the boy's face is almost comical, if it isn't a look of sincere pity. "Don't look now Sasuke," he says with a voice softer than usual.

Sasuke is stubborn and looks to the direction of his friend's blue eyes. Then he sees her and he sees the scars and he sees her downcast eyes and he sees her stumbling steps and thinks that they are cruel; all those who looked at her-just looked at her- are cruel. It is cruel how everyone just wouldn't even ask her if she was okay.

_Anyone…just ask her if she's okay_.

So he puts down his tray and walks in long strides, ignoring Naruto's shouting and the look Shikamaru gives him as he walks through their table. He walks fast but the world is cruel and the gods do not agree with his actions. He is intercepted by no less than (according to opinion of the majority) the most beautiful girl of them all. She walks up to him gracefully; a regal smirk is perched upon her perfect lips. Her lavender eyes are glowing and her hair sways with divine movement.

"Sasuke," she coos, the name flows like water from her lips, "where are you going?"

"It's none of your business," he answers firmly, never keeping her pink strands out of his sight.

She smiles. "It is my business Sasuke," she says softly then she stands on her toes, her face reaching up to his ears and she whispers, "Because you're mine."

She concludes. There will be no argument. There are no arguments with a goddess.

But he defies everything and he shoves her aside but the pink locks are gone. The goddess walks away and he stays in place.

--

_Have you ever known that you were beautiful?_

_Have you seen the jealous looks of women?_

_Have you seen the desiring eyes of men?_

_Even in your ragged form, you cannot hide the beauty._

_Your splendor cannot be masked even by derelict ecstasy_

--

They all settle their beautiful selves on an empty clubroom. It is an exclusive clubroom where the queen bee resides. She sits herself on the chair in front. The rest of the group scatters.

"What was that Ami," a striking blonde asks as she shifts in her seat, momentarily doubting her choice of peers.

The goddess turns from her nails to one of her 'friends' and looks at her with condescending grace. "He is mine," she answers simply.

The blonde whose eyes would put the sky to shame furrowed her brows in disappointment. "You know he was only going to her, if only to ask if she was fine," she answers, not angry nor pleased, just…disappointed.

"He shouldn't," she said, this time without a smile, "nobody should."

Ino's voice lowers to a considerable degree as she looks at the ground. "But she's your sister."

Ami tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes flash in a baleful way. "She is my _step _sister."

She concludes. No arguments with the goddess. Ino just sighs.

A redhead snickers at the side. "Drop it Ino, you know Ami doesn't want to acknowledge that pathetic excuse for a human as a sister."

"Oh yah," she replies mechanically and looks to the window. It starts raining and she still doubts her choice of peers.

--

_The world gives too much at times_

_And everyone thinks that she's of the lucky ones_

_She has too much of this loveliness,_

_Have too much of this dominance_

_But never the happiness_

_But never what she wants_

--

They oppress her. It never stops.

The goddess just watches. She does not participate in the lowly act. She watches as they taunt her and shove her and _touch_ her. She always smiles every time she sees _her _hurt. She says it is for fun but it is a lie. Everybody lies.

There is a deeper, much more sinister reason why she unleashes her sadist tendencies on her sister…her _step _sister. It is because _she_ is beautiful.

She knows- she always did- that Sakura is more beautiful. She is the fairest of them all.

And by hurting her, she revels in the fact that she is more powerful, more respected, more feared. If only Sakura feels pain then her beauty shall deteriorate, it will all fade away. It will fade in comparison to hers.

But she is never satisfied because the beauty remains.

So she continues to hurt her and she continues to convince herself that one day, she will rise above her. But her delusions are impossible. Beauty never fades, at least not Sakura's.

The goddess masks her insecurities in acts of disdain to someone who was more of a goddess, more magnificent in beauty.

"Please," Sakura whimpers at the contact. One of the ladies has her hand on Sakura's stomach, dangerously low, dangerously close. "Please don't."

Then the tears flow. Her cries are hysterical and she trembles in fear. She shivers in fright and she clenches her fists until they bleed.

Ino looks to Ami. _Stop this._

The queen bee stands up and every one of the ladies stops and looks in alarm at _her_ bleeding palms and partly seizing form.

One last look at the pink-haired mess. "Let's go." Then they all walk away.

--

He needs fresh air. He walks around the campus as he tries to ignore the unmasked stares of desire and jealousy aimed at him. He needs a breather. A woman just claimed him as hers a few hours ago and all the tension after that confrontation does not easily wear off.

It is not that he is afraid. Sasuke Uchiha does not fear anything-not even death. It is just that it is disturbing, the way she said it. It is disturbing how she is so sure, how such an angelic form could hold a devil of a woman.

He looks around and notices that he is at the soccer field. He mentally smiles. The soccer field is his sanctuary. He climbs up the bleachers and settles himself until he hears sobs. He looks around and does not see anybody. But the sobs continue-choking, desperate sobs. His eyes widen. A girl is crying below the bleachers. He immediately goes down and runs to the back.

He stops at the sight of pink locks. She stops crying and she turns her tear-stricken face towards him.

"Please," she requests, "I had enough." Her tone is so desperate, it is heartbreaking. He is frozen in place.

"I won't hurt you," he says and he never means anything more in his life. She looks at him with questioning eyes, searching for any expression that could indicate otherwise. She finds none.

"Thank you," she replies as she slowly stands up. He does not help her. He knows he cannot touch her so he just watches her hold her bleeding palms to her chest as she walks away. He cannot stand it.

"Wait." She stops. "At least," he says tentatively, "at least take care of the bleeding."

"No need, "she replies softly and he wonders why it is just now that he realizes that her voice is so melodious, so delicate and sweet.

"Please," he says almost desperately, "at least let me help."

She does not move and he takes this as her agreement. They walk to the bleachers.

"Sit down." She does, obediently. He takes out his hanky and is about to take her hands when she backs away. He retreats his hand and whispers 'I'm sorry'.

She looks at him with teary eyes and spread her hands slowly in front of him, palms up. "Just don't touch." He nods.

He dabs his hanky on her bleeding hand and slowly, he wipes the blood away, never touching her. The scrap of cloth is the only one allowed to grace her form. When most of the blood is wiped away, he gives her the hanky. "Keep it; you can wipe your hand until you arrive at the nurse's office."

She nods meekly as she reaches for the hanky. Then something strange happens. He does not mean to and she knows it but she still jumps back at the contact.

It is a stroke. His fingers stroked her bloody palm.

"I'm sorry."

She just stands up and runs away.

It is a stroke. It is an accident. It is a touch, a legitimate touch. It is momentary but it is a touch.

Sasuke leans back and looks at the empty field. His brows furrow for a moment then the inevitable happens.

He smiles.

--

_Your silence is deafening_

_And your pain is enduring_

_So let me touch you_

_Let me liberate you_

_Since you deserve none of it_

_Yet you take it all in_

_

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_

AN: reviews are love!!!

Chapter Three is Grasp and it delves on Sasuke and Sakura's first meeting

~ish


	4. Grasp

**AN: like I said, it's sasuke and sakura's first meeting! past events here!**

Chapter 3: Grasp

_I see you and you capture me_

_And I drown in your presence_

_The world fades out, you're all I see_

_My mind's in total indulgence_

_--_

"Hey Sasuke!"

The handsome boy stopped in his walk across the hallway and waited for his friend to catch up to him.

"Hey, high school freshman eh ," he said again as they finally walk together, "we have the same schedule," he added with a grin.

Sasuke almost rolled his eyes. "Oh God. In all subjects?"

His friend turned to him, his smile wider than ever. "All," he confirmed.

They continued walking, Naruto did the talking and Sasuke remained impassive. "This is us," Naruto said, more of chirped, as they arrived in front of a room. "Literature," he added dejectedly as he looked at his class list and read the subject out loud.

"But you love Literature," Sasuke drawled on sardonically. Naruto rolled his eyes and spotted Shikamaru, fast asleep in his desk, as usual.

"Come on, I see the lazy bum," Naruto said as he patted Sasuke's back and ran to the seat next to Shikamaru. In the boy's haste, he didn't notice that he bumped into someone and that someone fell to the floor not-so-gently.

Naruto must have noticed because he whipped around fast enough to catch said person and he was about to ask if she was alright.

What he saw made him stop. Completely. His face was frozen in mid-smile.

That somebody was a girl. The girl has pink locks and green eyes and her eyes were wide as saucers.

And she was crying.

"I…I'm so…sorry," Naruto stuttered. The girl was frozen and she was so, so stiff.

"I'm sorry," he finally said properly and deposited the girl to her feet. The girl continued to look at him like he just violated her and she ran to her seat at the farthest end of the room.

"What was that," Naruto asked Sasuke indignantly. "Why are you asking me," he answered as his eyes followed the girl.

The first thing he noticed was that she was weird. She cried when Naruto supposedly saved her. That was weird. The second thing he noticed was that she wore baggy and old clothes. The third thing he noticed was that she had pink hair. And finally, he saw that she was beautiful and that overpowered everything else he noticed about her.

He followed her with his gaze as she still looked shaken and sat down and buried her head (her beautiful face) in a book.

"Hey Sasuke….Sasuke!"

He turned around to face Naruto. "What," he snapped.

"Were you listening to me? Forget about it, let's just sit."

Sasuke took the seat beside Naruto as Shikamaru just woke up. "Anything I missed," he asked as he stretched his arms and yawned.

Naruto faced him and started talking about the earlier incident. After a few minutes the teacher walked in and they all settled down. But Sasuke's thoughts remained on the girl.

--

"Uchiha…..UCHIHA!"

Sasuke snapped out of his reverie and looked towards the teacher. "Sorry?"

The instructor sighed. "Can you solve the problem on the board please," he said impatiently.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and walked slowly to the board to answer. When he was done, he walked back to his seat and sat down as if nothing happened. At the sight of the accurate equations, the teacher's frown turned to a proud grin. "Very good Uchiha."

He ignored the praise and turned back to what he was doing which was-literally-staring.

The pink locks entice him and he cannot stop even his thoughts from drifting to her_._

_Beautiful…_

The crown of shiny locks turned to look at him.

_and sad, but…_

Her eyes were almost pleading. But her face glowed.

_Divine._

_--_

_Someday, you will be loved_

_And such beauty shall not be laid to waste_

_Because you deserve much more_

_Because you deserve much better_

--

"You stupid girl."

Such dirty words passed through the lips of someone so, so lovely.

"I'm sorry Ami," she responded, eyes downcast and lips trembling. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

She raised a brow. "It won't happen again," she repeated through gritted teeth.

Just a few minutes earlier, a handsome young man came to their house to visit Ami. Sakura walked in on them kissing and she caught the boy's attention. Ami never shares. Ami doesn't want to share so she stared in revulsion.

"Tsk, you're pathetic. I don't know what they see in you," she said sternly. "You are not beautiful."

"I know Ami."

"Nobody loves you, nobody will."

She creased her brows and tried to blink away the tears. "Nobody will because nobody will care enough to get near you."

"I know."

"You are stupid," she repeated for lack of anything else to say. She won already. Ami always wins.

"I'm sorry," she replied, a solitary tear running down her cheek.

"You should be." Ami left.

--

There was a commotion.

"I swear, I didn't do anything!" An indignant voice rose through the crowd. Uchiha Sasuke wouldn't have cared if Naruto wasn't that nosy. But his blonde hyperactive friend just had to run to the scene and work his way to the actual instigators. Sasuke ignored the attempts to grope him and walked through. His eyes widened at the sight of pink hair. She was pressed on her locker as if the man in front of her was disgusting and she was….trembling.

_In fear._

"What's going on?"

The boy who was complaining just a minute ago looked towards Naruto then to almost fuming Sasuke nervously. "I didn't do anything," he just replied meekly.

"What did you do," Sasuke asked as he held the poor boy by the collar.

"Nothing! I just…I just tried to touch her."

At the word 'touch', Sasuke saw the girl's eyes widen.

_She's afraid of a touch?_

He abruptly let go of the boy's collar. Naruto looked at him weirdly but he ignored it. He just stood in his place and directed a question towards the girl.

"Are you alright?"

Shikamaru somehow managed his way through the crowd and he was now looking at Sasuke weirdly too. Apparently, Sasuke shouldn't care. But he did.

"Are you alright?"

He heard the slurred whispers and repressed gasps. She nodded and suddenly ran. He didn't run after her. Instead, he turned back, dragged Naruto and walked away.

But his thoughts still remained on her and why she feared it so much.

_A touch._

_--_

_I see you and you capture me_

_And I drown in your presence_

_I am bewildered indefinitely_

_An undisturbed indulgence_

_

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_

**_AN: thank you to all the lovely people who reviewed!_**

**_next chapter contains some of Ino's introspection and a dash of sasusaku_**

_**please don't forget to review for they fuel my urge to write!!! haha, thank you**  
_


	5. Grip

**AN: so this is chapter 4 people...I apologize if it's a bit short. I'll really try to make chapters longer **

**this is chapter 4 so events happen in the present and thank you to all who reviewed, they made me soooo happy  
**

* * *

Chapter 4: Grip

_We are all victims of circumstance_

_It is sad and constricting_

_Life based on mere chance_

_Could it be life worth living?_

--

The doubt is eating into her. She still thinks that she might have made the wrong choice. She looks at them with disappointment- always disappointment, never anger. She looks at herself in the mirror and she sees a doll and she curses and curses.

Then she suddenly hears a whimper. She hears it every day.

"Ami, I'm sorry…"

She closes her eyes and thinks that she is not at fault. She does not do anything. She does not do anything but she knows that because of that, she is at greater fault. She just watches and pities but she does nothing.

_You don't have to apologize._

She turns to Ami and questions her with her eyes. The goddess turns her gaze away.

"Quit it Ino," she simply says.

"Is this solely for your entertainment," she asks with a tone nobody could decipher. The goddess bores her eyes to the whimpering girl.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Ami closes her eyes and lets the breeze blow in her face. "It is gratifying," she says almost maniacally.

Ino frowns in disgust. She stands up and she walks away. One of the girls tries to follow her.

"Leave it," the goddess commands. The other girl nods. No arguments with the goddess.

--

She flees to the empty lot behind their building and she sits in the grass and tries to breathe the fresh air. She almost sobs as she tries to hide her abhorrence- not for anybody else but for herself. She thinks that it is inhumane and shallow and she thinks that she is inhumane and shallow. She is a part of it all and she loathes herself because she cannot go away.

She cannot leave because- she clenches her fists- her social status is everything. And being with Ami gives her that. She has given up so much for it. So much.

"Ino," a voice suddenly cuts in, disturbing her thoughts. She looks to her right and she sees him.

"Shika…"

He looks confused and tense but he still sits beside her. He looks to the clouds and savors the beauty of what he sees. "Is there a problem?"

She looks at his face that is suddenly calm. "Shika…do you hate me?"

He smiles slightly as he still looks at the clouds. "No," he replies as he shakes his head to some extent, "never."

"Because it is too troublesome?"

He smirks. "Yeah, that's a reason."

She frowns. "Are there other reasons?"

He looks at her now. "I can't." Her eyes question him.

"I have discovered, " he looks up again, "that I do not have the capability to hate you."

"So you just lacked motivation," she asks him sardonically. His smile disappears.

"I had every motivation. I had the will. But I couldn't."

"Because," she asks him, encourages him, to continue.

He abruptly stands up. "I am still disappointed in you," he says, for the first time, with hints of disdain.

She looks at his back, as if he just said something grave.

"But I cannot hate you and you might know the reason if you have time to think of it…of what have been and what is."

He walks away. She is still disgusted. She has given up too much.

--

_I am not a doll._

_I do not believe in fate._

_I am merely a girl_

_Stuck in a life I hate._

--

He spots her and he knows she sees him as well. But she ignores him and she looks at everything else, anyone else, but him. He quickens his pace and she almost runs but she trips and then suddenly he is in front of her, wishing that he could help her up and knowing that he cannot.

"Are you alright?"

She nods. Everybody stares. Most of them glare, some of them frown.

"Get up," he says almost apathetically but his eyes say otherwise. She pulls herself up and dusts her shirt. "Come," he holds her by the sleeve so he can't touch her skin.

She stiffens in fear. Everybody is now looking. "No." She pulls her arm away from him. "Please don't do this," she whispers.

He releases her. "Why?"

"Because you don't know the consequences of your actions. You are never at a disadvantage."

He frowns. "You are Uchiha Sasuke," she adds miserably, "and I have no right to associate with you."

With that, she fixes herself so she could look as decent as possible and she walks away. The people gasp and some are indignant. "_How dare she walk away from Uchiha Sasuke?"_

"_Is she…?"_

"_No. I won't believe it."_

"_Impossible…"_

Sasuke does not follow. He smirks (and the gasps are more pronounced). She knows his name. And it has never been said more beautifully.

He shakes his head and he walks to the opposite direction. The people's eyes follow him in wonder.

One thought fills his head.

_She knows my name._

And really, it has never been said more beautifully._  
_

--

_We are all victims of circumstance_

_It is sad and constricting_

_Life based on mere chance_

_It could be a life worth living.

* * *

_

**AN: a lot of shikaino here, expect a lot in the next chapter too but they'll be a minor pairing  
**

**please take note of the people's reactions in the last segment, it'll be helpful in future chapters**

**and now-drumroll here- I present to you, a preview of the next chapter (because I thought "that would add more suspense!"; never mind that I was on my third coffee when I thought that)**

_**Chapter 5: Tap**_

_It started with a tap._

_"Excuse me," a soft, musical voice ensued from behind him, followed by a tap that was not too forceful but nonetheless intended to catch his attention._

_He ignored it._

_"Excuse me," the voice came again, with a tap that was almost insistent that time._

_ Nara Shikamaru sighed and turned around, prepared to ask the woman what she wanted and then continue ignoring her. "What do you-" He stopped talking as his eyes met shocking blue orbs attached to a face that was almost too good to be true._

**reviews are lovely!**_  
_


	6. Tap

**Disclaimer: NAruto=not mine**

**AN: I'm so sorry for the late update..I promise to post the next chapter earlier! thank you so much for the reviews!  
**

**this is in the past**

**Dedication: Sora-chan (who may or may not have an account but who is amazing anyway)  
**

* * *

Chapter 5: Tap

_How can I hate the woman I loved so much;_

_She who has made me happy?_

_How can I bring myself to resent her;_

_When she has taken me completely?_

--

It started with a tap.

"Excuse me," a soft, musical voice ensued from behind him, followed by a tap that was not too forceful but nonetheless intended to catch his attention.

He ignored it.

"Excuse me," the voice came again, with a tap that was almost insistent that time.

Nara Shikamaru sighed and turned around, prepared to ask the woman what she wanted and then continue ignoring her. "What do you-" He stopped talking as his eyes met shocking blue orbs attached to a face that was almost too good to be true.

Shikamaru never cared much for women before. He wasn't even in the habit of noticing random pretty girls that pass him by which is why he wondered to himself, genius as he was, why the girl's face captivated him-in the truest meaning of the word.

He was a little lost in thought that he didn't notice that he was ogling her. And still, she continued to shock him, because despite the almost impolite look of admiration from him, she simply tilted her head to one side, a slightly amused expression graced her features.

Shikamaru got a grip of himself and blinked. "What is it you need?"

"I just need a pen," she said unable to hide the amusement that still lingered in her eyes.

Shikamaru fumbled around his back and almost mentally smacked himself when he remembered he had one in his shirt pocket. "Here," he said, handing it over.

"Thank you."

"Thank you," she repeated as she handed him back his pen, aware that he politely disengaged his admiring look at her and instead decided to study the ceiling.

"You're welcome," he mumbled as he hastily took the pen and strolled away. Ino watched his back with amusement.

--

"Class," the teacher tried to call the class to attention, "class!"

Everybody heard the underlying tone of threat in the teacher's voice. They all settled into their seats.

"Okay class," Anko said as everybody settled down," we have a new student." She looked towards the door and a blonde bombshell entered the room.

Shikamaru almost let out an audible gasp if he was an ordinary boy. Since he isn't, he settled for a silent ogling.

"Why don't you introduce yourself," Anko said as she directed Ino to stand in front of the class. She smiled and flashed her brilliant teeth.

"I'm Yamanaka Ino; it's nice to meet you all."

It wasn't difficult to notice the admiring eyes of men and the slightly jealous looks of women.

"I hope I'll have fun in this school," she said, sending a brief glance at Shikamaru. He could've sworn she seemed a bit smug.

--

"Hey! Hey Pineapplehead!"

He turned around to retort only to find Ino jogging over to him. "What do you need," he asked timidly because he could not possibly be blatantly rude around her.

"Show me around?"

He shrugged his shoulders and turned at the corner, "this is the library," he said lazily. She chuckled a little and she heard him murmur 'troublesome' under his breath.

"I hear your name's Shikamaru, pineapple head," she started.

"You heard right Yamanaka."

She giggled and it sounded like bells to him. "Please," she corrected softly, "call me Ino. Can I call you Shika?"

"No."

"Ok then Shika." She giggled again.

He shrugged his shoulders in resignation and graced her with a side glance.

"You know," he drawled, she stopped giggling and looked at him, slightly curious, "you're too damn beautiful for your own good. Too troublesome." He then looked away.

That time, she didn't giggle. Instead, she smiled. "You're the first person who has said that with no attempt at flattery. It was rather grudgingly stated."

"And here I thought a girl would just say thank you," he replied, slightly confused.

She smiled and didn't reply.

--

It continued with a tap.

They are juniors.

"Ino." A tap to her shoulder.

She stopped talking to her friends and turned around to face him. "What is it Shika?"

HE hesitated for only a moment when he said, "I know it's a bit troublesome Ino…"

And he left it hanging though Ino knew the unspoken words so she smiled and took his hand in hers. His eyes widened but still, she smiles reassuringly. "Took you long enough."

"Huh?"

"Yes, I'd go to the dance with you."

"Oh," he said lamely but then, he realized by the gleam in her eyes that she was agreeing to so much more.

He didn't even hear the suppressed giggles and Naruto's guffaw in the background.

--

_I cannot hate the woman I love so much_

_She has made me happy_

_I cannot even resent her_

_Because even now, she still holds me_

--

"Look Sasuke, if you stare too much, she's bound to melt," Shikamaru said knowingly one day in the cafeteria.

"I don't stare," Sasuke replied, averting his eyes in the process.

"Of course other people won't notice," Shika defended lazily, "they're too busy staring at your face. But we do, we're not obsessed with you."

Sasuke glared, Shikamaru shrugged.

"But seriously," piped in Naruto-a pause in his noisy hogging of his food- "it's not like she'll disappear."

"Shut up."

"Crazy person," retorted Naruto.

"You're becoming like lazyass here," Naruto added.

Shikamaru frowned. "What?"

"You look at your girl too much."

Shikamaru, unfortunately, flushed guilty at the statement.

"I do not."

Naruto shook his head, scattering food crumbs in the process.

"That's disgusting," reprimanded Sasuke.

"My point is," NAruto continued-Shikamaru contemplated dumping his food on him- "you guys are obsessed! It's scary!"

"Shut it."

"But Sasuke, you don't really know her much," Naruto continued his disjointed thoughts.

Sasuke glared. "I know enough."

"You see Naruto," Shikamaru said with a smirk, "Unlike you, Sasuke does his homework."

"Huh?"

Shikamaru shook his head in exasperation. Sasuke almost rolled his eyes.

"Don't hurt your head," he said drily.

--

Tap.

Sasuke was busy fixing his locker when an almost imperceptible touch grazed his shoulder.

He was a bit frustrated at seeing the mess of papers and books and decided to shrug it off as nothing.

Tap.

"Wha-" he started as he turned to look at the intruder.

"What is it," he asked more calmly , barely able to concentrate as emerald eyes looked at him imploringly.

"You dropped your wallet," she said softly and handed him the item- holding it only on the edges so she won't touch him in the process.

"Thank you."

She smiled a little then walked away. That was when Sasuke realized she touched him.

Never mind that he didn't see the pen she used to do so.

It was only a tap but what a wonder it was.

--

_She has taken me completely_

* * *

**AN: expect the cheesiness to start next chapter…I've been on a sasusaku high when I planned the next chapters**

**I decided to dedicate each chapter to a reviewer**

**Please review! Thank you!**


	7. Caress

**AN: here's the quick update I promised and the sasusaku starts here**

**_present_ events in this chapter and please don't forget to review! (yes, I beg of you! haha)**

**Dedication to Broken-Midnight...because you never disappoint  
**

* * *

Chapter 6: Caress

_I cannot remember _

_What drew me to you_

_Was it your hair, was it your eyes_

_Was it your lips, was it your mind_

_Was it your beauty?_

_Perhaps your misery?_

--

"So you're here."

Her head jerks up at the sound of his voice and he almost backs off at the expression on her face. "What do you need," she asks miserably. They are at the soccer field, behind the bleachers and they meet once again.

"This is the soccer field," he says determinedly. She looks at him in question.

"I am a soccer player," he adds and then she stands up slowly. "Sorry, I'll go now."

"Sakura, wait," he calls softly as she rushes to get away from him. She stops reluctantly and turns to face him. "What do you need?"

"I mean no harm," he quickly says at the apprehensive look she gives him, "just listen to me."

She sits on a bench and faces him, finally ready to listen. "What is it Uchiha Sasuke?"

He smirks and reassuringly seats himself a few feet away from her. "I've waited long enough."

--

"Where is Ino?"

"I don't know Ami."

Purple eyes rove over the cafeteria, freezing everyone in their tracks. Ami is mad and nobody should cross her.

"This is pathetic," she says after a few minutes of searching. "If she doesn't want to come with us then fine." She flips her hair and walks away. Her entourage follows.

Behind a pillar, the blonde girl sighs.

--

"What is it," she asks softly.

"I don't want to complicate this, Sakura," he says.

"I am complicated," she replies timidly but not without a hint of self-deprecation, "what's your point?"

He smirks a little at her words but he continues. "Then I'd make it simple enough." He pauses.

She waits for him to continue and fidgets when it takes him more than a few seconds to speak again. Seeing the slight panic in her eyes, he looks her in the eyes, silently reassuring her.

"Sakura," he then continues and he marvels at how nice it feels to speak her name, "I like you, I have liked you since we were high school freshmen-"he ignores the incredulity in her eyes "-so can you give me a chance…us a chance?"

She widens her eyes at his words and tries to compose herself by taking deep breaths. "Sasuke, I-"

"Please don't tell me you have no right to. I am not a god, I choose who I associate with," he tells her almost harshly.

"But-"

"Just a chance, I promise I won't bother you," he retorts more gently.

She turns to look at the empty soccer field. "You don't know me Uchiha Sasuke. You don't know me and even if I said yes, you can't even touch me."

"Then tell me," he replies quietly. She abruptly stands up, taking him by surprise. "You belong with Ami. You don't like me so please give up on me." She then runs away.

Sasuke stares at her retreating back with a small frown.

--

_Nobody likes me._

She stares at herself on her mirror. "I do not deserve anybody," she says with a sob, "_he _made sure of that."

The sobs elevate to desperate tears. "Nobody can love me."

She splashes water on her face and wills the misery away. "I do not deserve Uchiha Sasuke."

And then she wonders why it hurts so much to say it.

--

_You don't like me_

_You can't love me_

_I do not deserve you_

_And you can't touch me_

--

"Ino, you're here again."

She looks up and sees an achingly familiar face, yet again. "Shika, am I intruding in your spot?"

He scoffs and sits beside her, "I don't own the place Ino."

A few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Why are you here so often anyway?"

She smiles at him. "It's peaceful here. There's nobody to…bother me."

"I'm sorry to intrude then," he drawls and begins to stand up. A warm hand encloses his and he looks at Ino's apologetic smile. "I didn't mean _that_ Shika."

"Troublesome."

"I'm a troublesome girl, aren't I," she replies with a sigh. He smirks at this. "Yes, you are."

She sighs heavily again. He doesn't notice that their hands are still entwined. "I'm avoiding Ami."

His eyes widen at this and he raises a brow in question. "I don't think…I can do it anymore," she says regretfully, "I'm not happy."

"Well, isn't that convenient," he replies coldly as he pulls his hand from hers.

"Shika…"

She recoils from his disdainful frown. "It was your choice."

"Shika, I- I'm sorry," she replies softly.

"You didn't need it, you didn't need them but -," he breaks off, seemingly unable to continue.

"I know…I know. You loved me but I just had to be selfish."

He stands up and starts to leave but not before pausing and telling her, "For what it's worth," his voice grows suddenly gentle, "I never stopped."

Her eyes widen. He walks away.

--

_If I could change, I would_

_Take back the pain, I would_

_If I could retrace everything that I did, I would_

_But since I can't, I'm sorry_

_And I'm grateful you still love me_

--

They meet at the parking lot after school. He glimpses some pink locks and walks to the source.

"Sakura?"

When she sees him, she almost groans in frustration. "What do you want?"

_I want you._

"I came to see if you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be," she asks rudely but her pleading eyes give her away.

He sighs too, in frustration, "You're never okay."

She glares at him but her feeble form takes away the effect. "Do you need a ride home?"

"No."

"How will you go home?"

"I'll walk."

"Let me give you a ride home."

She looks at him straight in the eye and says coldly, "I don't like you to take me home. I'll walk."

"Why are you in the parking lot?"

She turns her head away gingerly. "Ami said she might give me a ride home today."

"Her car is gone," he says flatly.

"I know that," she replies defiantly.

"Then let me take you home."

She sighs. "What do you want with me?"

_I want you._

He smiles the smallest of smiles. "I want to give you a ride home," he says a little teasingly to lighten the atmosphere, "I want you to ride home so your pretty little feet won't get blisters from walking."

She flushes at his statement. "It's not a very long walk."

"Sakura," he says and she is taken aback by the sudden seriousness in his tone, "you live a little far from here. It's not healthy to walk that far every day."

She frowns at him.

"It's just a ride home, nothing else."

When she nods, he caresses her shoulder. And even as she tenses up at the contact, she follows him to his car.

--

_I now remember _

_What drew me to you_

_It was your hair, it was your eyes_

_It was your lips, it was your mind_

_it was your beauty_

_And I am quite sure, your misery_

_

* * *

**AN: what shall happen next? any suggestions? comments? say so in a review! winkwink**  
_


	8. Grab

**AN: this chapter was supposed to be shikaino-centric and short but I thought what the hell, give em the sasusaku...hehe....thank you so much for the reviews!**

**dedication to OrangePerson42....'cause your reviews are love**

**past events people...thanks  
**

* * *

Chapter 7: Grab

_--_

_People often told me_

_How unreachable I am_

_And that they have tried all means_

_To just hold my hand_

_But what they haven't learned _

_Is what's hidden in my part_

_That they can't touch nothing else_

_Because she grabbed my heart_

--

"I have to tell you something Shika."

He looked up from the book he was intent on reading. Her voice was a little too serious for his taste. "What is it," he asked as he stuffed the book in his bag. The breeze blew, ruffling Ino's immaculate hair and he cannot help but marvel at how unbelievably pretty she was.

"Shika," she started as she took his hands in hers, "please understand."

Even as the dread filled him up, he refused to think coherently. "What is it?"

"We have to tell everyone we've broken up."

He raised a critical brow. "Give me one good reason."

She sighed, "Ami."

He shook his head at this. "Don't you think that's a bit too shallow Ino?"

She flinched at the coldness of his voice. "Shika, I can finally be someone in this school."

"You are someone. Why don't you just be contented with that?"

"She's 'the right people' Shika. Her social status is too good to pass up."

"And she wants you to date hot jocks without an ounce of brain," he concluded lazily but the glare he gave her could kill.

"Shika…"

He wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to insult her and mock her. He wanted to scoff at how superficial she was. But he didn't.

"If I'm too much of a hindrance to the life you always wanted then by all means, let me make your life easier."

"Shika! I don't want to break up for real!"

"And what shall I do Ino? Shall I watch you flirt and secretly wait for you in some abandoned place just to spend time with you?"

"Can't you do this for me Shika?"

He walked away without a second look. Ino just stared in shock.

He was aware that he might have been irrational. But his pride was hurt and he really can't live a life that's too complicated, even for Ino.

There was no turning back. And he tried his best to ignore how it hurt.

--

_I have often heard people say_

_Don't let go of ambition_

_And don't let go of your love_

_But I made my decision_

--

Like a drug- that was what he thought of her. Somehow, she would always manage to invade his senses-her smell, her face, her voice- and he just can't get rid of her.

Every movement, every word, he can't help but to notice her.

_What the hell?_

"It is love at first sight," a voice suddenly intruded. The words made him look up in almost shock.

He calmed down. "Shikamaru," he acknowledged. "I never thought you were such a romantic person and what the hell are you talking about?"

Shikamaru just shrugged.

"Ino kinda…" He stopped mid-sentence as a sudden pain shot through his senses. Sasuke chose to ignore his friend's sudden silence. Shikamaru just proceeded to sit down.

"Teme! Teme!"

Sasuke almost rolled his eyes at his best friend's antics. He was literally a hundred meters away and he was shouting like a lost child.

Finally he arrived at their unsual lunch table. "I don't get it you guys," he almost screamed, "if you're so fond of silence, why choose a table in the middle of the cafeteria?"

Shikamaru looked at him in slight awe. "That actually made sense Naruto," he agreed.

"Of course it does!"

"Hn. It's to keep up appearances."

"But why," Naruto asked, confused.

"Shika's revenge."

Shikamaru frowned at this. "It isn't revenge."

Naruto nodded in agreement and smiled. He had enough sense not to argue this point and talked to Shikamaru about totally weird topics like yellow spot bears and nine-tailed foxes.

Sasuke, however did not join in the conversation. He was staring, yet again, transfixed by the beauty dressed in rags.

She was reading silently in a corner, wearing too many clothes for anyone's good. She looked bulky and lonely and absolutely intriguing.

"…at first sight."

He turned his head to look at Shikamaru but he was asleep. The blonde excuse for a best friend whistled.

He raised a brow suspiciously.

--

_Take a deeper look_

_That's what I've always practiced_

_But when I saw her_

_All logic has vanished_

--

"I don't get it, mighty Uchiha," his blonde friend mocked one day at the soccer field, "I don't get why you don't act when you are so clearly obsessed with her."

"Hn, I will not grace that statement with a response," the stoic man mumbled as he wiped the sweat off his face.

"It's unhealthy you know," Naruto persisted knowingly.

"Where the hell do you get these ideas you idiot," Sasuke asked his best friend impatiently.

"Well," NAruto answered sheepishly, "there are these journals in the library…"

"Oh joy, the boy can read," Sasuke drawled sarcastically.

"But seriously, Sasuke, why can't you just admit to yourself that you're…" Naruto stood up and raised his palms in a motion of surrender.

"…you're in love," he finished, in a stance that would let him run away easily if ever the brooding Uchiha decided to punch him. To both their surprise, Sasuke just sighed and dropped his towel.

"It's not that I'm in love."

Naruto raised a brow in disbelief.

"It's just that lately, she's all I've been thinking about."

Then he got up and walked towards the showers. "Practice is over," he called over his shoulder at Naruto.

"Well, I'll be damned," cursed the hyperactive blonde at his friend's antics.

--

"Revenge time," Naruto literally screamed at lunch, "how exciting!"

A few tables away, Ino turned to look.

A vein ticked on Shikamaru's temple. "Idiot, if you ever do that again, I swear, you will never have even a glimpse of my exam papers ever."

Naruto was immediately subdued. Sasuke set his lunch tray down and looked at the pissed off Shikamaru. He decided to ignore it as he sat down and quietly ate his food.

A few seconds passed in silence but Naruto, mysterious boy as he was, decided to break the ice by yet another unforeseen declaration.

"So," he directed at Sasuke with a decibel rate of a megaphone, "ladylove's still on your mind?"

Conversations stopped. Heads turned. Forks dropped.

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered through gritted teeth.

"What," the blonde asked indignantly.

With alarming precision, Shikamaru and Sasuke stood up at the same time, took their lunch trays and walked in opposite directions.

"What did I do?"

And the buzzing sound reached its height.

--

_People often told me_

_How untouchable I am_

_And that they have devised a plan_

_To try and hold my hand_

_But what they'll never know_

_And never understand_

_She grabbed everything I have to give_

_I'm under her command_

* * *

**AN: reviews fuel my writing passion!!!**

**so please do and I shall love you forever!**


	9. Clasp

**AN: sorry for the delay in the last chapter...I was a bit busy but updates will be pretty regular...I've almost completed my draft of the story so do not worry for I see some direction...haha**

**anyway, present events here and to remind you of the scene that precedes this, it's Sasuke giving Sakura a ride home  
**

**Dedication: _xemotionallyCONSTIPATEDx_ (because she's an awesome author herself and she finds time to review this humble story of mine)  
**

* * *

Chapter 8: Clasp

--

_You are_

_my savior_

_my angel_

_my beam of precious light_

_and if they ask me what I would give_

_to keep you by my side_

_I'd tell them_

_I'd clasp your hands_

_And join you in your flight_

--

"Will you please drop me here?"

He graces her with a sideways look. "You don't live here."

"Ami," she responds quietly. He gives her an understanding nod. "Ok then."

He stops the car and she slowly goes out but before she closes the door he calls out to her. "Sakura, I didn't wait for three years to give up just like that," he says softly.

She pleads again, with her eyes. "Please, don't do this."

"I'll protect you," he says reassuringly.

"Even from myself?"

He doesn't find a suitable reply and she nods in understanding and finally walks away.

It will be months before they talk again.

--

Why he pursues her, he cannot truly explain. He might love her but he isn't too sure.

But now that he finally has the advantage of her acquaintance, he feels the need to know more.

She isn't sure why she feels comfortable with him despite the invisible but apparent social barrier she knows exists between them.

All she knows is that he is whole and maybe, just maybe, his wholeness could hold her together-if she allows him.

There is no clear reason why someone like him would like her but the unexpected hope that arises is too difficult to suppress.

And maybe that is why, after months of avoiding him- and watching him- she does not move from her spot as she sees him jogging towards her.

"Sakura," he says as he approaches her, almost in awe, "you're here."

"Is that a problem?"

He chuckles a little and she marvels at the almost easy conversation. She has never been at ease before.

"Are you ready to tell me why you're so stubborn," he asks, teasing. The look on her face tells him that his insensitive statement hit the mark. They remain silent.

"I'll tell you," she finally says, "and you are always free to walk away."

He looks at her earnestly before he nods and sits down too. "Tell me."

"I can't let anyone touch me," she starts softly; "it is my fear. It is irrational but I feel burnt every time someone, anyone, touches me."

Sasuke does not speak and gestures for her to continue.

She swallows hard. "My father…my…stepfather. I-I was twelve. He-he…." She seems unable to speak as she tries not to cry and she feels the burn. It stings her eyes and hurts her throat.

"What happened," he persists, even though he knows it is something grave. When she does not speak again, he stands up.

"No," she says in almost panic, "don't come closer. Please."

Sasuke backs down as he hears the heartbreak in her voice. "I won't hurt you," he replies quietly.

She raises her hand in emphasis so Sasuke stays in place. "You tell me that you might like me," she continues, almost in hysterics, "but you like a mirage. I am not just a damsel in distress boys like you seem compelled to save."

"Calm down," he whispers and she doesn't hear.

"I am not that girl, I am broken, tainted and anyone will be miserable with me," she continues with that same broken voice she always musters.

She cries now, but still silently and she frowns at the look of pity in his face. "I do not need your pity. I am just telling the truth."

She stops speaking and she waits for him to go. He seems to notice this so he says, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

His face remains impassive. "Your stepfather," he says as if they have never digressed from that point, "did he…did he," he swallows at the unprecedented lump in his throat, "did he give you bad memories? Is he the reason?"

Her face says she would rather not talk about it and her eyes plead yet again. But she nods and that is all he needs.

He looks away but he speaks to her. "I don't care. I will pursue you."

Her eyes widen in disbelief. "I am the only one who dictates my misery," he continues.

She shakes her head in refusal so he looks back at her. "I will not expect anything from you," he continues softly, "if you could just try. Give me rules, give me conditions; it's all up to you."

"N-"

"Please."

She studies his face for a moment. _What a beautiful face_, she thinks. The sincerity in his eyes is genuine and she marvels at his persistence. Her heart clenches at the thought that maybe, he could save her from herself; that maybe…maybe he could also save her from everybody else.

_Because he's still here._

"You can't touch me."

"I know."

"…"

He sits back. "Is that a yes?"

She looks away as she tries to hide the momentary blush that arises.

_I'll take a chance._

Then she nods. He smiles-it is small but it is the most triumphant he has ever produced.

_Because you might truly care._

--

_You are_

_my angel_

_my warrioress_

_a goddess in your own right_

_and if they ask me what I would give_

_to keep you by my side_

_I'd tell them_

_I'd clasp your hands_

_My love_

_My precious light_

_**

* * *

**_

**AN:I know, you need more fluff but I have this tendency to condense fluff in a chapter so be patient...plus next chapter will be the past through Sakura's eyes so it'll be different from Sasuke's longing**

_** thank you so much for the reviews and I hope you won't hesitate to leave one for this chapter....reviews are love!!!**  
_


	10. Reach

**AN: well, here's the update…**_**past**_** events here people**

**And don't forget to look at next chapter preview at the bottom…thanks**

**Dedication: Mojo-JoJo13 for your lovely reviews**

* * *

Chapter 9:Reach

_Out of reach_

_Out of hand_

_Too far away _

_And too immense_

_You're someone I can't handle_

_You're someone I don't know_

_Yet why can't I ever _

_Seem to let you go_

--

SLAP!

"Ami!"

"How dare you?" Her lavender orbs glinted in mischief.

"I didn't do anything," she replied timidly, rubbing the sore spot in her face and taking a few steps back to avoid any more physical contact.

But Ami was persistent and she walked toward Sakura and grabbed her shoulders. "What the hell did you say to Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Who," she asked in real confusion, trying hard to ignore the burning effect of Ami's touch.

"Don't play innocent! You know Uchiha Sasuke."

She tried to recall an Uchiha Sasuke. She might have heard that name before then her eyes widened in realization. Ami raised a brow in disdain.

"Remember," she asked acidly. "Why was he looking at you at lunch?"

"Nobody looks at me Ami," she replied wisely. Ami took this the way Sakura expected, she calmed down.

"Of course, how silly of me. Nobody would take a second look at you," and with that she walked away.

--

_Uchiha Sasuke_

"What an intriguing man."

She sighed as she mulled over her towering textbooks, distracted by the thought of the too-handsome man her sister was unhealthily infatuated with.

"What an intriguing man," she repeated to herself.

He looked at her, for one; but then again everybody looked at her. She was too weird to just be invisible. She was an irresistible prey to the vulture eyes of the forces that moved the school's social kingdom. But Uchiha Sasuke, he looked at her- without the cruel glint she was so accustomed to.

And second, he looked great. Even she can attest to that. She may be a freak but she was not blind. Sometimes, if you looked too long at him, the sight just reinforces what is already common talk.

But, speak of the devil, said man walked, no, glided inside the library and she cannot help but notice the silent uproar of whispers. It was no longer the ideal place to study.

_Uchiha Sasuke._

"What a troublesome man."

She gathered her things and walked out.

--

Ami couldn't stop pacing.

Her thoughts are wild and the unexpected surge of jealousy within her is disconcerting.

Uchiha Sasuke and Sakura- the thought made her blood boil.

Finally, she stomped her foot and sat on her bed, trying to calm down. She closed her eyes and cursed the heavens and everything else because things are not going her way.

She knew it was building up, that lovesick look from Sasuke was enough to make her puke and simultaeneously shiver at the possibilities.

She finally opened her eyes, cutting off the unwelcome images coming to her.

"Sasuke is mine."

And maybe, she thought, if she worked hard enough, it will become completely true.

--

Uchiha Sasuke.

As she looked at him, alone-yes, surrounded by girls but still so alone- she wondered what they saw in him. He rarely talked. He rarely smiled. He rarely even looked at someone.

Then slowly, slowly, he looked at her. The emotions she saw there were striking-all the more because it was directed at her.

There was interest and pity and concern.

She looked away before anyone could see them. But at the end of the day, she understood what those girls might have seen in him.

Uchiha Sasuke was kind.

And for a minute, she thought, what would it be like to be a friend of such a man? Is his influence, his looks, enough to protect her?

But her thoughts are flying-foolish thoughts. She can never allow herself close relationships with others. She repels them and it will always be awkward around her. She will not subject anyone to such a complicated life.

She sighed and turned her attention back to her food. This one man was ressurrection all those desires that she had, back when she was normal.

And then, as she looked up again, she saw Ami walking towards him, her hips swaying and her gaze seductive and Uchiha Sasuke just raised a brow and moved away.

_Well, _she thought, _there is one man who could resist Ami._

"What an intriguing man."

--

_Out of reach_

_Out of hand_

_Too far away _

_And too immense_

_For someone that's so fragile_

_For someone beauteous so _

_Just a hint that you'll reach for me _

_And I won't let you go_

* * *

**AN: here's the next chapter preview **

_Dating._

_He chokes with satisfaction at the mere thought of the word._

_Finally, after years of waiting and fruitless longing, she is his. And he feels like the world is finally moving right._

_And he just can't stop staring._

"_Sasuke," she says timidly, " do you really need to…" she trails off._

"_Do I need to what Sakura," he asks her as a smirk graces his features._

_Her look is pleading as an unwelcome blush creeps to her cheeks. She shakes her head and goes back to reading._

_**AN: please don't forget to review…thanks a lot!**_


	11. Pull

**AN: I'm so sorry for the very long delay but I've been so busy and just had a bit of time to sneak this chapter in...thank you for your reviews and enjoy**

**_present_ events here**

* * *

Chapter 10: Pull

_--_

_Love of my life_

_There are no words_

_To express what I feel for you_

_But if you asked_

_Then I'd have to say_

_You're my world_

_My life_

_My due_

--

Dating.

He chokes with satisfaction at the mere thought of the word.

Finally, after years of waiting and fruitless longing, she is his. And he feels like the world is finally moving right.

And he just can't stop staring.

"Sasuke," she says timidly, " do you really need to…" she trails off.

"Do I need to what Sakura," he asks her as a smirk graces his features.

Her look is pleading as an unwelcome blush creeps to her cheeks. She shakes her head and goes back to reading.

They are in an abandoned part of the school, away from the possible gossips, from the sneering jibes, from the controversy- away from everyone else. She needs the privacy and he is giving it to her.

"Sasuke," she begins again, momentarily distracted by a disturbing thought.

"Hn," he asks, still staring.

"Nobody should know about this," she says in a rush.

"Hn," he says a tad bit angrily, "why is that?"

She does not answer; just looks into the distance and sighs.

"Don't you think it would make both of our lives easier if we were just like this, " she says as she gestures to their current situation.

Sasuke frowns.

"Please," she pleads.

Left with no choice, he nods.

--

The silent stares, the secret looks. They are almost enough to drive him over the edge and he does not understand why Sakura is too shy to admit that they are together.

It is a gut feeling. And it drives him almost insane when by the end of the day, he has not seen Sakura.

An hour after dismissal- still no sign of Sakura. He looks and looks and looks.

Then he sees her at the rooftop, looking up at the sky, rubbing her shoulders, her arms, her legs-too much that she is red all over.

And he does not know what is more heartbreaking: that she is not crying or that she is alone.

"Sakura," he says loud enough for her to hear.

She looks at him then she smiles. "Do you know why no one should ever know we're together?"

He frowns then he lashes out. "No, I don't know. All of this could have been prevented if they all knew you were with me."

She just looks at him. "So you are aware of your influence Uchiha Sasuke," she says with slight wonder.

"I am not an idiot Sakura," he says again in that awful voice.

"Of course not. You are brilliant."

"Sakura," he says in warning. He knows that she knows what he wants to happen.

"No Sasuke, I will not ask it of you. You have done enough," she says quietly.

Sasuke looks at her, hard, piercing.

"Done enough," he growls, "done enough," he repeats with angry disbelief.

She looks at him, taking the full impact of his hard stare. "Yes," she replies quietly.

And then finally he sees. He sees a little girl, struggling, coping, abandoned. He sees a little girl who is helpless and cries and cries. He sees a girl who has been drilled into believing that she did not deserve to be loved, that she was not beautiful, that she was the lowliest of creatures.

And she is looking at him with defeat and harsh acceptance- acceptance of a fate she thinks she deserves. Acceptance of him leaving her.

_After only a week eh?_

And his eyes soften because he has no right to get mad, that he has to stop his selfishness, for this selfless girl in front of him- the only girl in the world, the only important one.

"I have done nothing Sakura."

Agony. This is worse, her face twists in pain, like she is being burned alive.

"Sakura," he says quietly, softly, "nothing I do will ever add up. If I could- I wish I could- I'd share your pain."

Her eyes still burn but there is a splinter of hope behind the flames.

"And since I can't," he continues, his voice almost choked, "I'm willing to do anything."

"Sasuke, I don't-"

"I will deny you nothing. You have but to only ask."

She looks at him apprehensively. "Sasuke, I-"

"I will deny you nothing," he insists, "nothing at all. Just ask."

"I won't, I can't Sasuke," she replies and he sees the pitiful little girl again. So selfless, so fragile.

"I know," he persists, " but I want you to know that you have options, you have all the options."

She opens her mouth to speak but he raises his hand to stop her. "Anything," he says and with the greatest of efforts, he smiles.

She looks at him in wonder. He smiles more reassuringly.

She tries to tell him that he need not do anything for her but she knows that he will just be stubborn so she fixes her expression and he is glad to see that little trace of peace in those piercing green orbs. So she just walks up to him and stops when she is just close enough.

"Are you hungry Sasuke? I'll cook for you," and then, with an effort, she, too smiles.

He starts to follow her as she walks away but he stops and asks her, no, commands her, "not to make amends Sakura."

She looks at him in guilty surprise and then she toughens her resolve.

_Why? I have to make amends to you everyday._

But she does not speak her thoughts and she just nods. "Let's go."

--

_Love of my life_

_There are no words_

_To express what I feel for you_

_But if you asked_

_Then I'd have to say_

_You're my world_

_My life_

_My due_

* * *

please do review and I promise to post the next chapter as soon as I can...thanks a lot


	12. Push

_**AN: again, I am so sorry for the long delay...this is a kind of transition chapter- past and present rolled into one....kinda puts a different perspective on who the real antagonist is and it makes Sasuke's life less one dimensional...it focuses more on the family and it's part of the story just so it could tell more about the main characters**_

_**no poetic lines, no real time frame**_

_**please read and review!**_

* * *

Chapter 11:Push

There were once three sisters.

Cerise: pink-haired and gentle, beautiful and clean, emerald eyes and porcelain-skinned, innocent and intelligent.

Lavender: lavender hair and ash mauve eyes, pretty and smart, strong and ambitious, clear-skinned and tall.

Ebony: raven-haired and brown-eyed, statuesque and fair, secretive and analytical, quick and determined.

The first was broken, the second was hollow and the third was Keiko.

Unlike her sisters, there are lesser words to describe Keiko. She was an uncanny mix of restraint and liberation. For Keiko was always perfect. Her grades were perfect, her life was perfect. Her hair was always done well, her nails were always clean and even the way she walked was graceful.

She sang and she dance and she wrote and she spoke-well.

And Keiko, despite her blessings, only cared about herself. Her achievements were hers. Her failures were non-existent. And that is why it killed her, it absolutely killed her, that she was the most ordinary of them all.

For unlike Ami who could unconsciously stop someone with a gaze and Sakura who had effortless beauty, Keiko had to work for her talents. So she did. She fought to eclipse her sisters in everything.

That is why she became what she was-perfect, precise and unyielding. But somehow, she cannot stop that nagging feeling that everything was unfair.

_How could Sakura be so beautiful even beneath those ugly clothes, even when she was a freak? _

_How could Ami be so feared and venerated when she was so superficial and straightforwardly unkind?_

Keiko asked these questions to herself and it continued to haunt her, though it would never show. After all, Keiko was perfect; there can be no failure in her demeanor.

And that is why she told Ami's friends she wasn't a virgin at 14 and she did nothing when she heard Sakura's strangled cries when her father abused her-even when she heard her many times.

The first was good, the second was bad, and the third was Keiko.

--

In the almost empty Haruno household, the phone rang. Ami raced to it, thinking it was the boy she met

yesterday.

"Hello?"

"Ami, is this you," asked a cool voice on the other line. Ami smiles a little, "Yes, keiko."

"Well, how are you?"

"Is that statement limited to me or does that include Sakura?"

Keiko's reply was colder than usual. "That depends, is she still her usual self?"

"Of course," Ami replied with a sneer.

"Then I don't really care."

Ami graced that with a laugh. "well, why did you call, did you need something? Any news over there?"

"Nothing, really. I just wanted to tell you that now that I'm of age, I'll be handling our accounts. Mom and Dad's trust fund…well, it's a bit larger than I expected."

Ami's eyes lit up at this. "Really?"

"Hmm."

"Why? What's wrong?" Ami sensed something her sister was keeping from her.

"Sakura's is, well, there's no other way to say it, larger. It seems her real father was filthy rich."

"Hmm," Ami replied, contemplating, "I don't really care and she doesn't know so…"

"Exactly," Keiko confirmed, "that's why I'm transferring schools. I can't let that money go to waste, can I?"

"Alright Keiko."

"Goodbye then."

"Goodbye."

As Ami put down the phone, Sakura came down from the stairs. Ami looked at her mockingly.

"Keiko says hi."

And in a swish of pink, she left the room.

--

There was once a pair of brothers.

Black: raven-haired and obsidian-eyed, handsome and youthful, strong and prodigious, agile and skilled.

Red: black-haired and dark-eyed, brilliant and strategic, handsome and calm, young and powerful.

The first was alive, the second was Itachi.

There are a lot of words to describe both of them but Itachi stood out in a way that was sad, twisted and predatory.

He was power-hungry, bloodthirsty and somewhat maniacal. But he was also perfect, so handsome, a genius.

And all through this weird blend of traits, there was one thing that kept Itachi together: Sasuke.

Itachi liked few things but there was only one he loved and that was his brother.

That is why he brought up Sasuke very unlike him-uncorrupted and virtuous. He brought Sasuke up being a hypocrite to himself.

Through all his sins, Itachi did one thing right and it was Sasuke. In their corrupt and money-driven family, Sasuke grew up to be decent and content.

And when Itachi died- shot through the heart by an assassin from a rival company – he left a legacy that was truly amazing.

The first was the legacy, the second was Itachi.

--

"Itachi."

The older man looked up from his desk and straightened up a bit when he saw that it was his brother.

"Sasuke," he acknowledged, noting the frown on his brother's face, "what is it?"

"I saw father with another woman," he replied.

"Hmm," Itachi said, mock contemplating, "what did she look like?"

"She was tall, with red hair and she was wearing the shortest skirt I've ever seen."

Itachi narrowed his eyes slightly in recognition. "That would be Mrs. Kang, our Chinese associate.

Don't worry yourself Sasuke, she's just doing business with dad."

Sasuke's frown deepened. "You don't understand."

"What do I not understand?"

"I saw them kissing," Sasuke replied in all his five-year-old glory.

Itachi frowned and called his brother to his side. He put him in his lap and smiled.

"Let me tell you of one of my adventures when I went abroad," he started.

Sasuke widened his eyes in excitement, forgetting his qualms as his brother launched into another animated account of something he encountered in one of his travels.

* * *

–

thank you so much to my wonderful reviewers! I loved all your reviews! Next chapter is in-progress...

here's a preview:

"_Sasuke," she says and he literally drops everything as he walks towards her and tries his best to smile a little._

"_Sakura," replies almost reverently as he approaches her. He raises a brow at the pretty box she holds out to him._

"_Happy birthday," she says softly._

"_I'm allergic to chocolate," he teases though it sounds like a reprimand. He starts to apologize as he realizes the tone he used._

_Sakura just shakes her head and gestures for him to open the box. Hiding his eagerness but still unable to completely suppress it, Sasuke tears open the box._

"_It's a pair of gloves," he declares a bit confused as he holds up a pair of fine dark blue gloves._

I'll leave the speculating to you...


	13. Hold

**AN: from now on people, you shall not be confused because all events shall be in the present...there will only 1 chapter written in past tense and that won't be making an appearance soon**

**so please enjoy and I hope you'll leave me a review after reading**

**oh and updates would be pretty regular for the next chapters so my erratic posting shall come to an end...**

* * *

Chapter 12:Hold

_Your hold is_

_permanent and unbreakable_

_and there's nothing_

_absolutely nothing_

_that anyone can do._

_There's no hand _

_that could shake your hold_

_and take me away from you_

--

"Sasuke," she says and he literally drops everything as he walks towards her and tries his best to smile a little.

"Sakura," replies almost reverently as he approaches her. He raises a brow at the pretty box she holds out to him.

"Happy birthday," she says softly.

"I'm allergic to chocolate," he teases though it sounds like a reprimand. He starts to apologize as he realizes the tone he used.

Sakura just shakes her head and gestures for him to open the box. Hiding his eagerness but still unable to completely suppress it, Sasuke tears open the box.

"It's a pair of gloves," he declares a bit confused as he holds up a pair of fine dark blue gloves.

"It's cashmere." Sakura looks as if she is laughing at a private joke.

"Did you make it yourself," he asks, still oblivious.

"I don't know how to knit Sasuke," she answers, still smiling softly.

"It's spring," he continues to question as he looks at the gloves. He looks up at her melodious laugh and he can't help but drown in those lovely emerald eyes that hold laughter so rarely.

"Put them on Sasuke."

"Thank you Sakura," he says after putting them on, realizing too late that it is a bit conceited of him questioning her choice of a gift.

"Velvet might have been good but I can't find some. Cashmere is comfortable though, they're a major part of my wardrobe," she explains timidly.

"Hn."

He puts it on then looks up to her smiling face that is a pretty mix of amusement and expectation.

"Why?"

"It feels good on my skin, cashmere," she explains.

Upon hearing this, Sasuke's eyes widens a fraction and he looks at her with surprise and this time, real reverence.

"You mean I can…?"

She sighs a little. "I don't know why but it's only skin contact that I hate…"

He steps closer and slowly, like it would damage her, takes her hand in his.

"I can hold your hand," he marvels and she almost cries at how he treats her.

"Did you like your gift?"

He looks up to her. "I love it."

--

Ino expects to see Shikamaru at that vacant spot – only a vacant spot now, no longer their spot. She sighs at the realization. She sighs for the wrong decisions and the reckless proclamations.

But she is shocked to see that it is _her._

The one they torment. The one she torments.

Her sharp intake of breath causes the pink-haired girl to turn around and look at her.

Ino understands why there is sudden fear in her eyes. She perfectly understands why she is ready to run away at the mere sight of her.

"No…wait."

She stops. Ino tries to smile. She is not sure what came out because the girl- her name is Sakura, she suddenly remembers- looks confused.

"I won't touch you," she says softly.

Her reply and the presence of it astound her.

"You never did."

"What?"

"You never touched me," Sakura replies quietly.

And then Ino realizes that those are the most comforting words she's heard in a very long time.

And she smiles. Sakura relaxes.

"It's a peaceful place huh?"

Sakura nods.

Then suddenly, another amazing thing happens. Of all the people, it is Uchiha Sasuke she least expects to walk in on them. But he does; and she stares almost open-mouthed as he ignores her and walks towards Sakura and puts a hand on her shoulder.

She wants to ask how and why. She wants to ask if it really is a phantom sickness. Then she sees his gloves-dark blue, as mysterious and fine as him- and she understands.

Sasuke looks at Ino guardedly but he ignores her and she marvels at how soft and gentle he is around her: around his Sakura, because that is what his eyes say.

"Sasuke," she hears Sakura say, "your grip is a bit too tight." And he says, "sorry, and I'm standing too close, aren't I?"

And Ino, for the second time, smiles.

"Yamanaka," she hears Sasuke call as she starts to walk away.

She turns around and he looks at her hard.

"Ami."

One name and she understands. She laughs a little.

"I have decided that it is time to rearrange my affiliations."

A moment of understanding passes and he ignores her again; and she doesn't mind because, really-now that she thinks about it- Sakura is the one who deserves Uchiha Sasuke.

And she thinks that maybe, nobody else can hold him like she does.

--

"What is this," Ami almost shouts. The rest of the student body quiets down to hear.

"Why is Uchiha Sasuke's notebook in your bag?"

"Ami," she pleads as more people turn around to see. Ami's grip on her arm is too tight and even if she is not afraid of a touch, the grip will bruise and she feels the familiar burn.

"Answer me," she raises her voice. Sakura flinches back at the anticipated slap as Ami raises her hand. None came.

"Stop it," a firm voice says. Ami does not turn around. She knows who it is.

"It's funny, I think you just told me to stop Ino," she says, eyes never leaving Sakura.

Ino walks closer until she is directly beside Ami. "I did," she says firmly.

"So this is your choice huh?" Ami turns her attention to Ino for a short while. "You side with this freak."

Ino frowns. "You are the freak Ami," she says so quietly that only Ami could hear, "you are the one who wants to hurt her own sister because of some trivial reason."

Ami narrows her eyes then turns back to Sakura and grips her arm once more.

"Don't touch her," a voice thunders.

Ami straightens up and raises a brow. Then her eyes widen.

"What? I am teaching my stepsister here a lesson Sasuke."

Sasuke glares back.

"If you touch her, I will make sure you'll regret it," he answers threateningly.

"And why is that," she asks in bitterness even as she knows what the answer will be. She always knew it would come to this.

"If you touch my girlfriend woman, you will pay."

There are no words to describe the chaos of reactions that followed that statement.

_--_

_Your hold is_

_permanent and unbreakable_

_and there's nothing_

_absolutely nothing_

_that anyone can do._

_There's no hand _

_that could shake your hold_

_and take me away from you_

_

* * *

please review...you know you want to...haha..._

anyway, please do


	14. Feel

**AN: thank you so much...your reviews are wonderful**

**and I know this is short but it's a transition chapter so please bear with me...  
**

* * *

Chapter 14: Feel

A touch

Is just a touch

But can you feel

What I feel too?

That there is never a touch

That can ever compare

If you feel

The same way too

--

"Your girlfriend?!" Ami practically screeches.

Most of the people gawk; some drop their jaws and don't quite seem to recover.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. _Idiots_, he thinks, _Sakura is more of a person than any of you ever will be._

"Do you have a problem with that," he challenges.

Ami straightens up and leaves Sakura whom Ino tends to. "As a matter of fact, I do," she replies defiantly, "how can you have a complete lack of taste? Why her," Ami asks, attempting to provoke and instead coming off as whiny.

"Why not?"

Ami looks around, as if gathering support and scoffs. "She's a freak."

"She's your sister," Sasuke replies, crossing his arms over his chest as if emphasizing his stubbornness.

"My stepsister," Ami clarifies, "there's not a drop of **my** blood in **her** veins."

Sasuke steps forward, eyes threatening and aura murderous.

"Do not test me," he simply says, emanating fierce masculinity and a promise of dire consequences. He then turns to Sakura, helps her up- and the people gasp and whisper- and together with Ino, Naruto and Shikamaru, they leave.

The remaining crowd cannot seem to react properly as they look at each other with questions in their eyes.

--

As they reach the parking lot, Ino breathes out a sigh of relief.

"That was like a 'Clash of the Titans' thing," she says unconsciously, earning a look from Shikamaru.

"A what," NAruto asks.

"Clash of the Titans, monster vs. demigod, Shika's favorite movie," she clarifies, still oblivious.

Naruto raises a brow at this and directs a pointed look towards Shikamaru.

He looks away.

There is a moment of Silence then Sakura speaks up.

"Thank you," she says timidly, earning her a look from all of them.

NAruto, naturally friendly as he is, steps forward and thrusts his hand toward her. "Hi, I'm Naruto and I believe we've met before."

Sakura smiles as she takes an involuntary step backward then looks nervously at the hand. Sasuke sighs and slaps Naruto's hand away.

"Who says you can get too near?"

NAruto smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, I forgot."

"That's okay."

"I'm Shikamaru," Shika says, staying in place.

Ino just smiles and hooks her arm through Shika's.

Shikamaru frowns but does not remove her hand. NAruto smiles teasingly and Shika rolls his eyes. They all know he never really got over her.

--

She looks at the mirror and fixes her perfect long hair and then she stares.

She is not quite sure if she likes what she sees.

Sakura is still beautiful.

Ami is still much more intimidating.

And it makes her think- of plans and desires and wishes and actions.

"I think it's time to come home," she hears her pretty voice say.

And she smiles.

--

A touch

Is just a touch

But can you feel

What I feel too?

That there is never a touch

That can ever compare

If you feel

The same way too

* * *

AN: review? pretty please?


	15. Crush

First of all, HAPHEPHOBIA- remember the word people, it's the fear of being touched…

Which I figured should have been something I have mentioned a long time ago (actually, from the very first chapter) but was too lazy to do so

Second of all, read the notes at the bottom of the page because my perceptions are either amazingly genius or dreadfully asinine…I'm thinking the latter

oh and last chapter was chapter 13...my mistake, sorry

_**

* * *

Like fallen petals of a fragile rose**_

_**beneath the weight of a single step**_

_**And brittle leaves in the autumn**_

_**when trees have shed and wept**_

_**My heart that rests beneath your hands**_

_**with simple pressure will crush**_

_**For a soul so marred and broken still**_

_**may crumble down to dust**_

**Chapter 14:Crush**

She's back.

And her sisters have no idea how unfortunate that is.

Right now, she is standing in the middle of the living room, criticizing the couch and berating the white walls. She sneers at the carpeted floor and frowns at the pretentious mini-chandelier.

Nothing pleases her and even as she hears Ami's footfalls from behind the door, she is apathetic.

She has never really loved her sisters. She still doesn't.

When Ami opens the door, she smiles- a smile that is never genuine.

"Keiko, you're here," Ami says in mild surprise. "I didn't expect you here so soon."

"How are you Ami," she begins just as Sakura enters the house. She glares at the pink-haired beauty as she wonders why her mere presence suddenly agitates Ami to a level she has never seen before.

She watches her as she practically runs upstairs and then she turns back to the woman she is obligated not to hate because of blood.

"What is her problem?"

Ami lets herself fall to the couch and spits out bitterly, "Damn woman snagged Uchiha Sasuke."

"Uchiha Sasuke," Keiko muses.

And then she remembers why the name is so familiar. He is her one way ticket to the perfect life.

She suddenly frowns. Ami closes her eyes dejectedly.

And she decides- she will not be a loser like Ami.

--

Sasuke is having a bad day.

First, he woke up learning that he had a really nasty migraine. Then when the migraine went away, Naruto- _and not Sakura damnit!_- visited him at home.

Said blonde invited him to a party and since he was all hazy from the medicine he took, he somehow ended up agreeing to go.

Which is why he is here, right now in this godforsaken party, girls ogling him, Naruto decidedly leaving him alone and one provocative brunette smiling seductively at him.

He almost snorts in disgust as his eyes meet the girl's. And for some reason, she sways her way to him.

"Hello," she says and Sasuke notes the mischief in her voice.

"Hn."

She smiles a sultry smile. "I'm sure I know you from somewhere and now I see that you're Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn."

"Aren't you going to ask my name?"

Normally, Sasuke would've enjoyed this kind of flirting. Now…well, now he finds it grossly unfaithful to Sakura.

"No."

The girl, instead of taking offense, flashes him another sultry smile. "It seems you are in no mood to entertain," she shifts her weight and hands him a glass of some red liquor, "won't you take this drink instead?"

Sasuke eyes the drink speculatively.

"It will hurt my feelings," the woman urged.

Years of good breeding kicks in and Sasuke accepts the drink.

"Hn."

The woman smiles again and touches his arm in an intimate way. "It was nice talking to you," she says and walks away, her hips swaying with every step.

--

Keiko walks over to the bar and keeps Sasuke in her peripheral vision.

A few minutes before the drugs kick in.

--

Sasuke knows something is wrong and he is right to assume it was the drink's fault. He suddenly becomes hazy. He feels random girls dirty dancing with him and he just couldn't find Naruto.

"Naruto," he tries to call out but it just registers as a whisper.

HE walks aimlessly through the dance floor until he reaches the bar. He fumbles for the bar stool and struggles with sitting.

"I see we meet again," he hears a voice say, "ah Sasuke, I've always wanted to try this."

Sasuke is caught off guard as the woman turns him to face her and plants a long, searing kiss right on his slightly open lips.

He doesn't resist.

CLICK!

A camera flashes but he barely registers the thought. All he is aware of is that the girl's tongue is doing some pretty amazing tricks inside his mouth.

Suddenly, he is yanked backward and he hears Naruto yelling and the next thing he knows, he is confronted with darkness."

--

When Keiko arrives home, her smile is blinding.

"Oh Sakura," she calls loudly in a singsong voice, "I have something to show you."

Both Ami and Sakura come down from the stairs.

"What's the ruckus Keiko?"

"Ami," she says delightedly, "come see!"

Ami hurried to her side as she takes some pictures out of her purse.

For a moment Ami's eyes widen then they turn a bit mad and finally resignation.

"Fine, Keiko," she says with half admiration, half jealousy, "you get the man." Then she looks over to Sakura and raises a brow, gesturing her to come see.

She silently made her way to Keiko's other side and almost dies on the spot when she sees the pictures. Her eyes pool with tears for a second and then she tries to calm down and suppress the undiluted pain from burning her heart, her soul, her mind.

"Why," is all she manages to come up with as she looks questioningly to Keiko.

"You are not beautiful." Keiko's eyes hold contempt, "No, you are not."

Ami stands to the side looking down at Sakura as she watches Keiko do what is necessary.

_To hurt her._

Keiko bends down and touches Sakura's arm. Sakura winces in pain. Keiko's eyes of sapphire glint in malice."But some people are too blind to realize that; like Sasuke…well, I guess he knows that now."

At this, Ami scoffs. But when Keiko leans in and whispers something to Sakura and Sakura's tears fall like they never have before that convulsions rack her small frame, she is confused.

"Keiko," she asks with slight concern, "what did you say?"

Keiko does not look at her but she stands up and crosses her arms over her chest. Sakura still floods the room with tears.

"He is not my father," she says softly and Ami does not understand. Keiko smirks. "He is not my father," Sakura says, this time louder.

Ami furrows her brows. She does not understand.

"He touched me," Sakura cries frantically, still on the floor, "he touched me and it hurts."

"What," Ami asks, still confused. Her curiosity also gnaws at her. She wants to know.

"Who touched you," she repeats. There is no concern in her voice, there is only impatient curiosity.

"He touched me and it hurts, it still does," Sakura continues, "it burns."

Keiko scoffs at her. "You deserve it, you slut," she says. Her form dominates them all. She remains the only one in control. "Everybody thought you were so good," she adds with the same contempt, "you deserved it."

Ami tries to understand. Sakura cries and murmurs and murmurs. "It hurts, it bleeds…don't touch me, please don't touch me…."

Ami looks at Keiko. "What are you talking about?"

"Ask her," Keiko responds. Ami raises a brow and Keiko sighs impatiently. "You honestly don't know?"

"No," Ami replies with the same impatience, "so tell me."

Keiko looks away and says in monotone, "this slut was having sex with dad when we're not around."

Ami's eyes widen. "No," she says feebly.

"Yes," Keiko contradicts, "it's her fault, I am sure she seduced him."

"But…"

Keiko laughs. "And she was only 12."

Ami grasped Keiko's shoulders and turned her around so she fully faces her. "Why?"

Keiko shrugs, "Why not? Miss Goody two shoes here deserved it."

Ami's eyes widen in horror and she is frozen in place. Every beating, every hurtful word, every scar- they all come back to her and her heart beats faster and suddenly, suddenly, tears fall from her eyes.

"Don't tell me," Keiko starts as she sees the tears from the lavender eyes. "My dear sister, do you feel mercy," she asks Ami.

Ami looks at Sakura. She wants to bend down and…do what? She honestly doesn't know. She wants to maybe give her something to wipe away her tears and tell her she did not know. She wants to maybe turn back time.

Because no matter how much she hates this wimp of a stepsister who will always be more beautiful than her, who will always be weaker than her, whose eyes she can never fathom- nobody deserves that kind of fate.

_Not even her._

Sakura is still fallen and she stops murmuring and she just cries and cries and cries until the tears run out. Ami looks away and she runs out.

"Ami," Keiko calls out to her but she doesn't stop. She can't stop.

--

_**Like fallen petals of a fragile rose**_

_**beneath the weight of a single step**_

_**And brittle leaves in the autumn**_

_**when trees have shed and wept**_

_**my heart that rests beneath your hands**_

_**with simple pressure will crush**_

_**for a soul so marred and broken still**_

_**may crumble down to dust**_

* * *

things I'd like to say:

I hope it's clear that Ami is not the principal villain in this story because even though she's outright mean, there's a shred of humanity and integrity in that vain little heart of hers.

Keiko is…well, she's Keiko and she's just that selfish and conceited. Her insecurities, well, they ate her up and this is what results.

Sasuke's gonna get it…and NAruto too…they're gonna get it bad

The poem, well, I dunno what to make of it…does it deviate from my usual style? I'm sorry if it did, there was an almost complete lack of inspiration for that one…

Last…I hope you all review and I am so very sorry for the delay.


	16. Flip

I'm sorry...umm, please don't kill me...

it is near the end people and thank you for your lovely reviews

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine and stuff..

* * *

**Chapter 15: Flip**

_**Endless sunny skies**_

_**And a cool breeze shall pass**_

_**For illusions of eternity **_

_**Never seem to last**_

_**With the changing seasons**_

_**And the calm and storm**_

_**The world will flip**_

_**And the heart reform**_

**--**

God, how it hurts.

It is worse than those burning touches. Because this hurt is intangible and consuming.

And because it shows her that she is right. She wants to whack herself in the head because, dear god, she's right.

--

Sasuke wakes up with the headache of the century. The pounding, throbbing pain is almost too much for him to bear but not nearly enough to erase the thoughts of that awful weekend from his mind.

_IDIOT._

What a big effing idiot he is!

He practically vowed chastity when he decided to be with Sakura and just two months into their relationship, he cracks.

_Stupid, stupid Uchiha!_

He curses himself though he knows it's not enough. It's never enough.

_Idiot._

He forces himself to get up and get ready for school and –for this, he actually gulps- see Sakura.

--

Ami wakes up to the sound of unmistakable banging. She starts and looks around and sees Ino sheepishly looking at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you….damn door just tends to shut loudly…gotta get a stopper for that one."

In her confusion and bewilderment the day before, she subconsciously ran and arrived at Ino's doorstep. Ino was surprised to see her but at the sight if the tear tracks in her face, she chose not to question and quietly let her in.

"Geez Ino, the mall's ten minutes away," she snaps back.

Ino raises a brow but ignores her quip and goes straight to the kitchen. Ami crashing in her couch is a rare thing. The girl acts like a princess but showing up yesterday with those desperate eyes told her something is clearly wrong. She cried for an hour at least and fell asleep when she calmed down a bit. She still does not know the reason but she doesn't intend to push it. She's decent like that- even towards someone who just recently swore to be her mortal enemy.

"Breakfast," she calls towards the living room as she finishes cooking. When after five minutes, there's no Ami walking through the kitchen, she decides to check on her and is not very surprised when she sees Ami staring at her hands and looks like she is on the verge of crying.

"Ami…I don't know what is it," she says gently as she takes a seat beside her friend, "but I'm sure that if it's you, you will rebound from any setback, perceived or real, large or small." She offers a little smile but Ami does not respond.

"Ino, this…this is different."

Ino deigns to reach over and clasp one of Ami's hands. "You can tell me," she replies softly.

"You won't understand!" Ami replies hotly but Ino just looks at her like she is expecting her to blurt it out.

"Try me."

"No you won't," she snaps back although her anger is directed mostly towards herself. "You're…a good person," she adds.

Ino smiles at that. "Not that good, we were friends remember?"

Ami doesn't laugh. "But you've always been more…compassionate, the way I've never been. I mean, I've always hated her for it. She is weak and it's pathetic," she says as her voice rises and Ino knows that she has finally started to tell her why.

"And yet, she's so beautiful. I despised her for it! She is everything that I'm not and yet, it seems like she's the better one while I have always tried so hard," she says then grits her teeth.

"Ami…"

"And you know what sucks Ino? It's that all my lifetime illusions, all that feel of superiority and power, it's useless. I am pathetic because I breezed through life and now, the very foundation of my character is so pointless to me."

"Is it Sakura," Ino asks gently.

"Yes, it's about her! It's always about her!"

Ami's eyes are crazy now so Ino grips her hand more tightly.

"And I can't even despise her anything because God…she's…she's my sister and I wish I could've been there to…care."

Ami slumps on the couch and Ino looks at her friend with pity. This, she knew. Shikamaru told her a few days ago and she was appalled then outraged then so, so sad and frankly, her faith in humanity decreased a notch-a very big notch.

"But you haven't known and you know we can't dwell on the past," she advises gently. Ami starts crying.

"You can still do something. You're young and strong, queen bee. Exercise that authority," she adds with a slight jibe.

Ami still sobs quietly. "It's so stupid."

Somehow, with those three words, Ami articulates all her disgust, disappointment and misery and Ino laughs a little.

"Thank you," ami says so quietly, Ino almost doubts the words.

"Does this mean you aren't going to make the rest of my high school life a living hell?"

Ami finally cracks the smallest of smiles. "You think?"

--

It is so awkward.

After all the pains of trying to avoid each other, they meet in the last place possible- in the girl's bathroom.

"Uh," is all she manages to say.

"Sakura…"

"Those," Sakura started just as Sasuke says, "I'm sorry."

Sakura clenches her fists a little and stares at her feet. "This is the girls' bathroom. You shouldn't be here."

Sasuke had to escape the speculating gazes and not-so-subtle jibes at him and he entered the first room he could reach. Unfortunately for Sasuke, it is the girls' bathroom, unfortunately for Sakura, she is there.

Sasuke just looks at her, unable to articulate what he feels- about those pictures in the bulletin board, displayed for the entire world to see.

"If I may," he tenses at her voice which already sounds so defeated, "why?"

"Why," he repeats, a bit dumbfounded because he can't think straight.

"Why did you decide now to prove me right," she asks with a feat of bravery she rarely shows. And, as if it took too much out of her, she starts to cry.

And because Sasuke is so mad-at himself, at the world- his non-functional brain decides it is time to lash out.

"Stop crying, stop being so damn tormented," he yells. She thinks that she should not mind, she has been yelled at countless times before. But it hurts.

"Why are you mad Sasuke," she asks him as her blood begins to boil as well, from anger-anger at herself because she knows that what he says is true.

"Because it is irrational Sakura," he replies firmly, determinedly, angrily.

Perhaps because he is so sure of his love for her, perhaps because he is so sure he is wrong and his pride cannot take it in but it made him lose it.

"I know," she replies, defeated, "everything about me is irrational. I can't even take a mere kiss lightly."

"But I'm not forcing you, you are free to leave Sasuke," she adds then she looks at him with those green eyes and she asks him, not by words but by mere look, she asks him.

_Are you tired Sasuke?_

He looks away. He is. He is tired.

Because _why can't we just be? Why can't we be deliriously happy as it is supposed to be?_

But he stays.

"I won't. " He still looks away. "I won't leave."

"Why?"

Finally, finally, he looks at her. And she looks at him.

"Because I will prove you wrong," he answers softly. He was never a man of words but he will speak and speak until he shows her…because he cannot touch her so he will speak….for her.

"I will prove them wrong," he murmurs as he slowly walks towards her and then he kneels down to her level and looks her in the eye. "They are wrong," he whispers, bringing his face closer- close enough that they could hear each others' breaths, but they never touch. Never.

He raises his hand and it hovers above her head and he gently-oh so gently- strokes her hair. The feather light touches do not burn. They entrance. She almost doesn't feel them but she knows they are there. And he continues to look at her and he continues to touch her without really touching. And he whispers, "We will prove them all wrong."

And then she nods and wishes that she could fall into his embrace. And then he still looks at her because it is all he could do and the feather light touches continue.

"I will stay," he assures her. Then he stands up and walks out the door. He never looks back. He is still mad.

--

There is another commotion in the hall and as Ami steps out of class, her head is pounding from the still-present headache that she doubts will leave anytime soon.

"Wha…"

Ino grips her arm and pushes through the crowd. "I know what this is," she says as she makes a way for them.

Ami spots Karin and her other so-called friends in front of the huge bulletin board that announces school activities.

"What's so interesting," she starts complaining so she is surprised when Ino raises her voice and tells the murmuring crowd, "Leave."

When they just look at each other, unsure of what to do, she glares at them and adds, "NOW." The authority in her voice is so clear ; years of hanging out with Ami finally pays off. The crowd disperses. Only Karin and the other girls remain.

"Huh, Ami, you're with Ino," she asks curiously but then she immediately jumps to another topic. "Have you seen these," she points to the pictures on the board as if they were the world's most expensive piece of jewelry.

It takes a minute for Ami to process what she sees and when she does, her eyes widen. "Who put that there?"

"Your sister emailed them to me last night and it was just so special that I decided to show the school this delicious piece of gossip," she says excitedly.

"What have you done?"

"Oh, Ami, I know you claimed Sasuke but I gotta say, your sister is fast!"

Immediately, Ami took the pictures and ripped them. She glares at Karin as the other girl looks at her with surprise.

"What the…?!"

"This will never happen again. You will stop. Leave Sakura alone."

Karin's eyes widen.

"Or else," she adds to reinforce her point.

Later when she talks with Ino about the scene, the blonde girl gives her comment.

"In the end, there will be less regrets, you know? Because you've started to widen your spectrum…and it's not just **your world** anymore," she adds with a little reprimand.

"mm-hmm," Ami replies with a raised brow but she says nothing else.

--

_**Endless sunny skies**_

_**And a cool breeze shall pass**_

_**For illusions of eternity **_

_**Never seem to last**_

_**With the changing seasons**_

_**And the calm and storm**_

_**The world will flip**_

_**And the heart reform**_

--

Yes, I know what you're thinking, "why the hell is Sasuke mad? He has no right to."

Let me answer you with : "MEN"

for the enormous delay….really, I'm sorry

are about two chapters left

next update is three days later, a week later at most (if I can't finish it)

review….because they are lovely


	17. Rub

**And for once, I'm not going to use original poetry. Instead, I'm going to borrow words from Panic at the Disco and The Killers. I love them to death.**

**I'm sorry for the late post, I've finished earlier but decided it was short so I added some more.**

**Please review!**

**Naruto is not mine. (I somewhat feel a bit giddy that Karin dies in Sasuke's hands...is that bad of me?)  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 16: Rub**

_So he said, "Would it be alright,  
_

_If we just sat and talked for a little while?  
_

_If in exchange for your time  
_

_I give you this smile" _

_So she said, "Hey that's ok,  
_

_As long as you can make a promise not to break  
_

_My little heart and  
_

_Leave me all alone  
_

_In the summer" _

--

"I need you to promise me that you will not hurt Sakura."

"Why are you telling me this Ami," he asks, not knowing if he should believe. After all, she just stands in front of him during break time and asks him, suddenly, to not hurt her step sister- the sister whom she hates, the sister who she always hurts.

"Just promise me," she replies earnestly, unblinkingly.

"You know now, don't you," Sasuke asks, "and you feel wrong."

Ami hangs her head in shame. "Promise me…"

"You don't need me to promise that," he replies, "you just need to promise it to yourself."

She blinks. A stray tear falls. "Sasuke…I am sorry."

He scoffs. "Why are you telling that to me?"

"Because she loves you and I have to…."

"Why do you suddenly care so much about her," he asks her, angrily this time.

"Because I never knew," she whispers. He understands. "She is my _sister_," she says frantically, "She did not…she does not deserve it."

He frowns. She looks down and blinks away her tears. "Keiko…Keiko, she is…." She looks back at him. "She knew!"

Sasuke feels as if he is being pummeled to the ground. "She knew and she didn't tell and she treated her….we treated her like that but I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't know."

The goddess falls. She cups her beautiful face in her hands as she finally understands. Sakura was always the most beautiful of them all. She shakes her head as if she can will it all away.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should say that too," he replies simply and walks away.

--

Ami knows that the time will come when she has to face Sakura. She just doesn't know why it has to be now.

Ino pesters her and pesters her until she eventually gives in. She arrives home silently, trying to avoid Keiko. Keiko- her name sends shivers down her spine. Is it possible that this is the sister she looks up to, the one she has secretly adored?

No. She thinks that no, she is not. She has never been sure of it before, she is certain it will never happen now.

The conspicuous door at the end of the hallway seems to beckon. Its plain beauty cries out to her and suddenly, like so many things these days, she is struck by a thought- she has never seen the interior of that room. It is Sakura's room and all she has ever deigned to see is the girl's door.

But, she is stalling. She is never the one to back down and she isn't going to break that habit now. So, oblivious to her loud knocks, she thought impatiently of what to say to this sister of hers-who will always be more beautiful than her.

She is shocked to see the green green eyes that look at her questioningly as the door opens a crack. She is slightly taken aback to see that there is no guile in those eyes. Instead, there is an innocence and optimism that is not quite marred by her weariness of the world.

She realizes now, and how many these have been, that Sakura, hateful Sakura…is good.

"Would you like to come in?"

Her voice again shocks her into reality. She nods a bit dumbly and slowly makes her way in.

The room is clean and light and comfy and so, so Sakura. She internally mocks herself at this.

"I never knew I expected your room to be like this and somehow, it is all I imagined it to be."

Minimalist. Simple. Beautiful. She smirks lightly.

Sakura tips her head to one side and offers a seat. Ami casually flops down and tries to hide her apprehension on the impending tears and words. Fair Sakura astounds her again.

"You don't have to do this. It wasn't your fault. It still isn't."

She gapes at Sakura while the other simply looks at her.

"But…" she splutters.

"Ami," Sakura says with a slight sigh, for once in her life being brave enough to directly confront Ami.

"You've never been kind to me Ami but I couldn't resent you for that. It's against my principles."

When Ami still looked dumbstruck, Sakura tries to smile.

"I'm not a saint and I may possibly be insane but why would I resent you?"

"Because I was the evil stepsister who hurt you, that's why!" Ami cried, indignant. "Because I am selfish and I never thought anything of you. Because god, all these years, I could've tried to understand!"

Sakura furrows her brows and looks at Ami with confusion. "But you're here now, aren't you?"

"I…"

She continues to gape at Sakura, still speechless, still unbelieving.

"I'm sorry," she says at last, "for everything." She stands up abruptly and goes for the door but when her hand grasps the knob, she can hear the smile in Sakura's voice as she says another thing she never expected.

"That is why I can't resent you Ami," she says softly, "because I know that this is what you really are."

Am's grip gets tighter. "How could you? I was nothing but cruel to you."

She replies with the same solemn gravity, "Because every time you ever did anything, I always saw you hesitate."

"I…I'm sorry," she says at last and hastily leaves but she knows she is forgiven.

And she is.

--

_She held the world upon a string_

_But she didn't ever hold me_

_Spun the stars on her fingernails_

_But it never made her happy_

_Cause she couldn't ever have me_

--

Like a plague, Keiko somehow reaches Sasuke in his home.

"What are you doing here?"

Why the venom Sasuke, haven't you enjoyed my company," Keiko asks with a smirk.

This triggers Sasuke to seeth. Suddenly, it hit him and he almost cannot contain the fury that suddenly overwhelms him.

"What is your problem," he asks in loathing.

"I have no problem Sasuke. I want you."

It is said with such a sultry smile, a provocative look that Sasuke resisted the urge to strangle her.

"I. Don't. Want. You. That is not difficult to understand. Leave me alone."

Like a predator stalking its prey, Keiko advances forward.

"Whom do you want then?"

"I want Sakura," he spits.

Surprisingly, Keiko laughs at this. "Even though you'll never have her? Don't fool yourself Sasuke."

Keiko puts a hand in his chest. Sasuke narrows his eyes. "You have needs and you can have me."

"Did you really think," Sasuke replies through gritted teeth, his right hand removing Keiko's palm on his chest, "I'm going to be part of this game you're playing?"

Keiko's lips turns upward a bit. "Yes."

It was the certainty there that caused Sasuke to recoil and itch to slap a woman.

"Go away."

"Are you scared?"

"No."

To Sasuke's horror, his mind chooses to remember their kiss now.

"Are you afraid that in one weak moment, you're going to lose control," Keiko asks, slowly putting her arms around Sasuke.

"Are you scared that Sakura might never get over her….affliction," she whispers in his ear. She could hear the sound of a car in the drive.

Sasuke's body tenses in fury and guilt because he is guilty of those things. Keiko could hear the gate open.

"Are you, Sasuke?"

Keiko asks this just as she hears light footsteps and she swoops down on Sasuke and claims his lips once again. It takes a second for Sasuke to realize what's happening and shove Keiko off him.

It is all the time it takes for Sakura to see them. Keiko is shoved to a wall and Sasuke's eyes widen at the sight in front of him.

"I'm glad you've joined us," Keiko addresses Sakura on one side of Sasuke.

Sakura's eyes harden- perhaps, for the first time in her life. She ignores Keiko.

"I came to maybe fix this," she says stoically.

"ha!" Keiko sneers in the corner and Sakura's icy gaze suddenly falls on her.

"I am not going to say you are a whore. I am not going to say you're superficial. I am not going to say I could loathe you and I'm definitely not going to say that no matter how hard you try, you will only ever be mediocre. Saying those are against my principles."

Keiko's eyes narrow in warning.

"But I am going to say I will never fathom why you chose to abandon your humanity that night when you were home and I was begging you to help me; and that you never got it back."

Near the end, her voice breaks and she struggles valiantly to stop the traitorous tears from falling down.

"You took my family away," Keiko replies, her voice hard. "And Ami is stupid to join you now. Why does it always have to be you?"

Keiko's hand shakes with the anger she is holding on to.

"And it couldn't have been enough for you to see me tormented," Sakura asks quietly, "that you still had to rub salt on the wounds?"

Keiko's face becomes a steely mask. "You deserve it."

Sakura wipes away her tears and she takes one last cold look at Sasuke then she turns on her heel and leaves. Sasuke feels sick to his stomach.

--

_Pay my respects to grace and virtue, send my condolences to good  
_

_Give my regards to soul and romance, they always did the best they could  
_

_And so long to devotion, you taught me everything I know  
_

_Wave good bye, wish me well, you've gotta let me go_

_**

* * *

**_

Please do review...song lyrics pertain to sasusaku, KEiko and Keiko in that order...

the end is near and I shall make it good...I promise!


	18. Touch

**AN: Ok, last chapter alert…haha…I did warn you but I decided, I can't drag this out any longer so yeah…I hope you enjoy.**

** Please don't forget to review… **

**

* * *

Touch**

_A touch is just a touch_

_Skin to skin, not really much_

_But a touch is a language still_

_Of tangible affection, of what you feel_

_Of unspoken words and sparks that fly_

_Of erupting fireworks and the urge to cry_

_Of hidden sentiments, of hurts and lies_

_Of grace and virtue, of what's and why's_

_So a touch is just a touch_

_In others' eyes, it may not seem much_

_A wordless gesture of the words we have_

_But to most of us, it speaks of love_

--

"Shika," she says softly, a bit surprised to see him in…their spot.

"Ino," he acknowledges without looking.

She smiles and moves closer as she stands on her toes until she is eye to eye with him.

Shikamaru squirms a bit under her gaze.

"Personal bubble," he mutters. She smiles.

"I'm sorry," she suddenly says, letting her smile fade a bit.

"Why are you here," he asks as he looks away, unable to stand looking at her beloved face any longer.

She backs down and her cheerful façade gives way to a look of regret and-he couldn't be sure as he glances at her- longing.

"I'm here to give you what you deserve."

He raises a brow as he looks at her once again. "And what is that," he drawls but the skepticism is there.

"Closure," she replies with a frown. He scoffs.

"What," she asks him, a bit annoyed that he seems to be brushing off her gesture of goodwill.

"Are you deliberately being cruel?"

He looks up at him and sees that his expression is both annoyed and mocking at the same time; then his eyes harden and she realizes that those are directed at himself, not at her.

"Why are you making this difficult?"

"Ino," he says firmly as he bends his head until he is now looking intently into her eyes, "if I wanted closure, I would've given it to both of us long ago."

He looks angry but his eyes never stray from her.

"B-but," she stutters a bit as she thinks of a response to that.

"I don't want to be friends, I don't want closure, I want you. Haven't I made it clear enough already? Because I've told you every single time."

Her eyes widen. "Shika…I…I…"

Finally, he stands up straight and puts his hands in his pockets. "You're just being troublesome," he murmurs.

Then it suddenly dawns on her.

And she laughs.

"What's so funny," he grumbles.

"I love you," she exclaims as she throws her arms around him and showers him with kisses.

"Troublesome…"

"But you luuuuurve me," she teases.

"Unfortunately for me…yes, I do."

Finally, he cracks a smile.

--

"Sakura," Ami calls out, a bit surprised to see the lights in their house turned off.

"Is anybody home?"

"I'm here," Keiko snarls as she comes down the stairs and flicks the lights on. "How sisterly Ami, you're looking for Sakura?"

Ami stiffens a bit but because she is Ami, she recovers.

"How wonderful Keiko, have you presided over any rapes lately?"

It is Keiko's turn to tense up. "Whatever," she says through narrowed eyes, "please don't start a tantrum".

"You're one to talk, you're the one with a lifelong tantrum."

Keiko raises a brow.

"If you think I'm intimidated Ami then you don't know me that well."

Ami laughs. "I don't need to intimidate you Keiko, you already are."

"Ha! Don't be delusional Ami, there's a reason everybody looks up to me."

And Ami, like a wolf, smells fear and insecurity and like the queen bee she is, she uses it to her advantage. A slow, deliberately mean smile reaches her lips.

"Is it because you're beautiful, have a 4.0 GPA, good with her words, hot and a bitch?"

"Exactly," Keiko challenges.

"Well, Sakura is more beautiful, has the same GPA, is better with her words and kinder," she raises a finger with each characteristic, "and I'm way hotter and more of a bitch, as you can probably tell."

Keiko suppresses her rage.

"Well, as you can see, your younger sisters are better than you so I really see no reason why everybody looks up to you, which, unfortunately for you, is also not true."

Keiko is livid and she moves to slap Ami but before she can, Ami takes a step back.

"This is what you'll do Keiko, you'll give back Sakura's money and you'll leave and never come back."

"And if I don't," Keiko retorts.

"It will just be a longer and more painful process for you."

Keiko grits her teeth in annoyance.

"I'll call the family lawyer," Ami says as she sweeps off a seething Keiko.

--

Sakura almost curses. She can't concentrate on studying because all the people in the library at some point will point at her or whisper about her.

And as if she hasn't gotten through enough, Naruto sits across her, reminding her all over again about Sasuke. The memory hurts too much.

It has been two weeks since 'the incident' and she finds that she is too drained and too spent to do anything about it anymore.

"Hi Sakura," Naruto says with a friendly smile.

Resigned, she returns it. "Naruto."

"I know it's not my business about you and Sasuke, but will you listen to what I have to say," he asks her with such a sincere smile and an earnest look that she couldn't help but nod.

"Great."

"Just this time," Sakura insists.

"Of course."

Sakura shuts her book and plays with her pen as she looks at Naruto and urges him to start.

"Have you ever asked Sasuke what he really feels about you?"

"No. I just assumed…he likes me- enough to see through my faults…" she replies haltingly.

"Remember freshman year when you almost tripped and I caught you?"

Sakura nods.

"It was love at first sight," Naruto says a bit dreamily that Sakura looks confused and surprised.

"No, no, not me, Sasuke," he says laughingly as he sees Sakura's expression.

Sakura looks unconvinced.

"Believe me, 'like' is not what he feels towards you," he insists, "you haven't seen him and been with him these past few years and if you'd been there, you would understand that 'like' doesn't even begin to describe what it is."

"Why me?"

Naruto laughs a little. "Why not?"

At Sakura's still suspicious expression, he sobers up.

"Sakura, Sasuke is utterly and completely captivated- I looked it up, my words are right," and Sakura couldn't help but smile a little.

"But if that's how it is, why isn't he here?"

"He's wasting away, probably," Naruto teases but then again he realizes the gravity of the situation so he smiles softly and continues.

"He is so in love with you that he doesn't know what to do."

Sakura frowns.

"So please, wait for him. Let him realize what he has to do because I know Sasuke and I know he won't let you go. Not ever."

"Thank you Naruto," Sakura replies, for lack of anything else to say.

"Just a little while more," he says as he stands up and smiles, leaving Sakura to her thoughts.

--

It turns out that she doesn't have to wait long. Sasuke is waiting for her at her doorstep.

"Would you like to…come in?"

He nods and follows her in.

"Please sit."

She sits directly across him and grows exasperated as he remains silent and looks anywhere but at her.

"They are right Sasuke," she suddenly says, no longer able to stand the silence.

He looks at her pityingly. He looks at her, his face showing a streak of guilt and a streak of anger.

"What are you talking about," he half yells, half asks. She is calm.

"They were right all along. Nobody is capable of loving me."

She is too eerily calm. Her eyes are glazed over with unshed tears and she is stiff and unmoving. He softens. He softens at her voice and he softens at her words. "Everyone…."

He waits for her to finish. "Everyone needs something…a touch…a stroke….a kiss."

"Sakura…"

"I cannot give that to you Sasuke."

Her gaze never falters. He matches her look. "You wouldn't want me. Keiko," she swallows, "Keiko…you are worthy of Keiko."

As if on cue, Keiko descends the stairs and she glares at them both before she hauls her bag and gets out the door.

Ami follows down and, Sakura is a bit shocked to see, winks at her as she steps out. She looks back at Sasuke.

"No," he replies so quietly that she almost doesn't hear. "I want you."

"You don-…"

"I do."

She still does not look away and he holds her gaze without hesitation. He says something but she does not hear. He makes his voice louder and clenches his fists.

"Even if I can't touch you forever..."

She looks at him and tears fog her vision even more, "You will do that for me," she asks, momentarily overwhelmed with happiness then her insecurities hinder it all. "You will suffer, you will not be satisfied, you won't be happy, you-"

"I don't give a damn Sakura," he cuts her off. "And what else do I have to do to prove that to you?"

_I'd gladly suffer if it means I could be with you._

"You were surely tempted."

He flinches. "I was," he admits finally, "but you don't know how much I've loathed myself for it."

Wild thoughts plague and torment her until it all just stops. He looks at her questioningly, eyes full of questions that he couldn't voice out.

"Sasuke," she finally says.

Then she very gradually, reluctantly, walks towards him as she raises her hands inch by inch, very, very slowly and touches his cheek. It is not anything else. It is a touch.

His skin is warm and soft underneath her. She still burns but she will not mind. She does not mind.

"You pulled me out of obscurity Sasuke. You were there when I was way over my head. How can I not love you," she says in response to his silent questions.

Her hand lingers and it lingers until he can take no more. He takes off his gloves and takes hold of it and she winces but she will not mind.

"Forgive me, please," he finally says pleadingly even though he knows he is- damn sure of it, as sure as he is that it's her hand on his skin. And he holds her hand, just holds her hand. He does not squeeze, he just holds then he caresses. He raises his other hand and runs his fingertips across her palm and her arm stiffens.

"I won't hurt you," he whispers. She nods.

"Does it burn," he asks as he brings his head down to kiss the back of her hand. "Does it hurt?"

And suddenly, suddenly, all the memories rush back to her. All the fear, the pain and the betrayal come back. She sees them vividly and feels them all at once.

And then all the sacrifices, all the kindness and the mere seconds of happiness kick in and suddenly, suddenly, it does not hurt.

Because she thinks that there must have been a reason why she gave those gloves to him.

Because she thinks that he has already saved her.

Because he is so kind and she loves him so, so much.

Because now she has friends and now, she has Sasuke. And she remembers that if it is him, it never really hurt. Since the first fleeting contact, it never hurt. It does not hurt.

"It does not hurt."

And that is when the tears fall.

--

_A touch is just a touch_

_Skin to skin, not really much_

_But a touch is a language still_

_Of tangible affection, of what you feel_

_Of unspoken words and sparks that fly_

_Of erupting fireworks and the urge to cry_

_Of hidden sentiments, of hurts and lies_

_Of grace and virtue, of what's and why's_

_So a touch is just a touch_

_In others' eyes, it may not seem much_

_A wordless gesture of the words we have_

_But to most of us, it speaks of love_

* * *

An epilogue will be posted…thanks for all the support and lovely reviews, you made this fic a joy to write

So…I will shamelessly promote my new sasusaku fic..here it goes

**Baffling the spectrum**

Summary: It took an unexplainable five hundred and ten nano meters to sustain their marriage.

I'll give a little hint about the story- 510 nm is the wavelength of green light and you'd want to look up protanopia

It will be posted soon or maybe a half-hour after this is posted…haha…

**thank you so much readers….thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!**


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